Camel Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Captain in the foreign legion was transfered to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted mens barracks. He asked the Sargent leading the tour, "What's the camel for?".
The Sargent replied "Well sir it's a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual urges, so when they do, uh, we have the camel."
The captain said "Well if it's good for moral, then I guess it's all right with me."
After he had been at the fort for about 6 months the captain could not stand it any more so he told his Sargent, "BRING IN THE CAMEL!!!" The sarge shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the captains quarters.
The captain got a foot stool & proceeded to have vigorous sex with the camel. As he stepped, satisfied, down from the stool, and was buttoning his pants he asked the Sargent, "Is that how the enlisted men do it?"
The Sargent replied, more...

A priest and a nun were riding a camel through the desert and the camel passed out and died. Since the priest and the nun had no way to travel they knew they were going to die. The priest asked the nun, "Since we are going to die anyway is there anything I can do for you?"

The nun replied, "Well... I've never seen a naked man before." The priest being the kind man that he was took all of his clothes off.

Pointing at the priest's dick, the nun asked, "What is that?"

The priest said,"It is my sternum."

"What does it do?" Asked the nun.

"It brings forth life." said the priest.

Then the nun said, " Well stick that on up in the camel and let's get outta here!"

A camel and a elephant met annd the elephant said
"
Why have u got your boobs over your back"
and the camel replied
"
what a silly Question when u have a dick hanging from your head"

A camel is a horse designed by committee.
A brontosaurus is a salamander designed to Mil-Spec.

The new Marine Captain was assigned to a recon company in a remote post in the desert. During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there. “Well, sir, ” is the nervous reply, “as you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have … m-m-m…. urges. That’s why we have the camel, sir. ” The Captain says, “I can’t say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay. ”
About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges. Crazy with passion, he asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has wild, insane sex with the camel. When he is done, he asks the First Sergeant, “Is that how the men do it? ” “Uh, no sir, ” the First Sergeant replies. “They usually just ride the camel into town where the more...

An old bloke in the Northern Territory was showing some tourists how to top up a camel with water." That way," he said, "You get an extra day out of them between drinks." As the camel bent down to drink, the bloke picked up two bricks and bashed them over the camel's balls. The camel sucked in its breath and took on three days' extra water." Doesn't that hurt?" asked a tourist." Nah," replied the bloke. "Only if you get your fingers caught!"

There was once this guy who was on a quest to cross the Sahara desert solo, we will call him Simon, for that is a good name for a camel rider. Well he started out and things were going along just fine for weeks, however gradually he noticed a change in his camel, slowly but surely it seemed to be traveling slower and slower.
It had been a while since he had drunk water but camels were supposed to be able to survive for long periods without water he thought to himself. Well eventually the poor ol' camel just stopped altogether.
"Great!" thought Simon, "now I'm really in trouble". After some time trying to pull the camel, push the camel and do anything he could to get the camel moving, he was resigned to the fact that he wasn't going anywhere fast.
Suddenly, almost out of nowhere this guy comes driving up to him in a small truck with a sign on the side "Camel Starters R US". Well Simon couldn't believe his luck. "This is unbelievable!" more...