Camel Jokes / Recent Jokes

In the olden days of the Legion Etrangere (French Foreign Legion), Lieutenant Lefevre was extremely happy to be posted near Bir Ounane, right in the middle it seems, of the desert.
Boy howdy, did he enjoy the challenge of the elements, the demands for personal survival skills, the camaraderie of the other officers, etc! In fact, for four months, he enjoyed EVERYTHING!
Around the beginning of his fifth month there, a steady ache in his groin reminded him that the hadn't had any female companionship and that it was time to put his johnson back to work. He confided one day in Sergeant LeBrun: "Sergeant, I've got a personal problem. I need a woman. What do the men do when they have this urge?"
"Sir," responded Sergeant LeBrun, "there's no problem. They usually take the camel..."
"Non, non, non. Jamais! Never! Never!" screamed the lieutenant. "I will not descend to such low conduct."
Well, about two months later, he more...

One day Osama bin laden and one of his followers were on a camel riding through a town.
When they got out of the town Osama Bin Laden got off the camel and lifted up the camels tail and looked at its arse.
The follower said "what are you doing?"
Osama replied "A man in the town shouted look at those two arseholes on that camel"!!!

There was this really annoying elephant named Izzy who loved to brag.
One day she went up to a camel, Mell, and said, "I am the most beautiful animal you'll ever see!!"
Mell looked at her like she was crazy and said no you're not!
Izzy said, "Well, I look better than you because I don't have two boobs on my back!"
Mell replied, "True, very true. But at least I don't have a dick on my face."

Two guys are on duty at a french foreign legion fort. One says to the other one, “See that camel over there? I’ll bet you I can make him jump 30 feet in the air.
The other guy says “No way”.
The first guy walks around to the back of the camel with two bricks, reaches in between the camel’s legs and crashes the bricks together. The camel jumps 30 feet in the air.
A couple of days later the first guy says to the second guy, “I bet you I can make that camel nod his head yes, then shake his head no. ”
The second guy says, “You got me last time, but there’s no way you can make that dumb animal nod his head yes then shake it no. ”
The first guy takes the same two bricks, walks around to the front of the camel, holds up the bricks and says, “Remember what I did last time? ”. (Camel nods). “Want me to do it again? ”

The little camel went to his mother and asked, "Mother, why do we camels have such big eyes?"
She looked on him lovingly and replied, "You see, my son, when we are walking in the dessert and the wind starts to blowing and there's sand everywhere, we need these big eyes to keep an eye on one another so that we don't get lost."
"Oh!" he said. "And why do we have such huge feet?
"Well," she said, "they allow us to walk easily in the dessert sands and help us avoid sinking into the dunes."
"Wow," he said, "great equipment. What the heck is this stuff on our backs for?"
"You see," his mother informed, "we can walk for days, even weeks without food or water, so we use it to store fat during those times. But why do you ask me all these obvious questions?"
"Well, mother," said the young camel, "I was just wondering, if we've got all of this great stuff, what more...

one day a priest and a nun were on a camel through a desert, when all of a sudden the camel falls over and dies. so they decide to set up camp under a nearby tree. a couple of days later the priest was moaning and groaning saying that he was going to die. the nun then tried to tell him that he was speaking rubbish. so to cheer him up she asked him if there was anything he would like her to do. so after a minute of thinking the priest said, " well ive never seen a female in the nude. could you take off your clothes?" so the nun did as the priest asked. then she tells the priest that she had never seen a male in the nude either, so she asked him to take off his clothes. so the priest did and as he was standing beside the tree the nun asked the priest what was hanging between his legs. he said, " if i stick this in a female it will create new life". so the nun said, "well, dont worry about sticking it in me, stick it in the camel!

A Foreign Legion Captain had just been transferred to a remote desert outpost. During his orientation tour, he noticed a camel tied behind the barracks.
"Why is there a camel tied to the barracks," he asked the Sergeant who was giving him the tour.
"Well, sir," the Sergeant explained, "the men tend to get lonely sometimes since there are no women here, so we have the camel."
"Well, I suppose if it's for the men, it's all right with me," said the Captain.
A couple of months later, the Captain found he was feeling very lonely himself, so he yelled out to the Sergeant, "Bring the camel to my tent!"
The Sergeant led the camel into the Captain's tent and left. A while later, the Captain emerged, zipping up his pants and smiling.
"So, Sergeant, is that how the other men do it?" he asked.
"No, sir," the Sergeant replied, "they usually just use the camel to ride into town!"