Camping Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says, "Did you see that?" "No," the second guy says." Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead," the first guy says." Oh," says the second guy. A couple of minutes later, The first guy says, "Did you see that?" "See what?" the second guy asks." Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there." "Oh." A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?" By now, the second guy is getting aggravated, so he says, "Yes, I did!"And the first guy says: "Then why did you step in it?"

Last summer, I took my wife camping for the first time. At every
opportunity, I passed along outdoor-survival lore.

One day we got lost hiking in the deep woods. I tried the usual tactics to determine direction - moss on the trees (there was no moss), direction of the sun (it was an overcast day). Just as I was beginning to panic, I spotted a small cabin off in the distance.

I pulled out my binoculars, studied the cabin, turned and led us right back to our campsite.

"That was terrific," she said. "How did you do it?"

"Simple," I replied. "In this part of the country all TV satellite
dishes point south."

When Fishermen Meet"Hiyamac""Lobuddy""Binearlong?" "Coplours""Cetchenny?" "Goddafew""Kindarthay?" "Bassencarp""Ennysizetoom?" "Couplapowns""Hittinhard?" "Sordalike""Wachoosen?" "Gobbawurms""Fishanonaboddum?" "Rydononaboddum""Whatchadrinkin?" "Jugajimbeam""Igoddago""Tubad""Seeyaroun""Yeahtakideezy""Guluck"

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they laid down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "It tells me that someone has stolen our tent."

So I was out camping and my glasses had broken the day before, so I couldn't wear them. Without my glasses, I can't see anything past 10 feet in front of my face. So I was out camping (W/out glasses) and I go to use the bathroom, and I walk into the wrong one, (and two cute girls were outside picking berries) and I come out and they start to laugh. I found out about two hours later that I walked into the wrong bathroom.
An hour and a half later, i was eating a late lunch/early dinner, and I go to use the bathroom, at this local Texmex resturant, and the bathroom was outside, and I walked into the wrong one again. It was really embarrassing.
PS, I'm not blonde, just on the inside.

Two guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says, "Did you see that?""No," the second guy says."Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead," the first guy says."Oh," says the second guy. A couple of minutes later, The first guy says, "Did you see that?""See what?" the second guy asks."Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there.""Oh."A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?"By now, the second guy is getting aggravated, so he says, "Yes, I did!"And the first guy says: "Then why did you step in it?"

One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business.
While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream.
Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."