Canceled Jokes

During the final days at Denver's old Stapleton airport, a crowded United flight was canceled.
A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."
The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I''ll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we''ll be able to work something out."
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"
Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the more...

At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the
second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned. One soldier mused, “Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn't seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?”

During the final days at Denver's old Stapleton airport, a crowded United flight was canceled.
A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."
The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"
Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the more...

* You've never met any celebrities.

* Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

* "Vacation" means driving through the Amanas or going to Adventureland.

* You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.

* You measure distance in minutes.

* Down south to you means Kentucky.

* You know several people who have hit a deer.

* You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Terre Haute."

* Your school classes were canceled because of cold.

* Your school classes were canceled because of heat.

* You know where all the Yoders live.

* You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.

* You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

* You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."

* You know what's knee-high by more...

Tomorrow will be canceled due to lack of interest.