Capitol Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldnt find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?"The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. Itll take you right there." She thanked the officer and he drives off. Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop. The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus. That was three hours ago. Why are you still waiting?"The blonde replied, "Dont worry, officer, it wont be long now. The 45th bus just went by!"

A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions - "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?" The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It'll take you right there." She thanked the officer and he drives off. Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop. The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus and that was three hours ago! Why are you still waiting?" The blonde replied, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now... The 45th bus just went by!"

A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn’t find it, so she asked a police officer for directions -
“Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building? ”
The officer replied, “Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It’ll take you right there. ” She thanked the officer and he drives off.
Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and,
sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop.
The officer got out of his car and said, “Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus and that was three hours ago! Why are you still waiting? ”
The blonde replied, “Don’t worry, officer, it won’t be long now…
The 45th bus just went by! ”

'Twas The Night Before Impeachment, when all through the House,
All the Congress was stirring, even Conyers, the louse.
The Articles were hung by the Capitol with care,
In hopes that Saint Bubba would be trapped in the lair.
The Republicans were nestled, all smug with The Feds,
While visions of perjury danced in their heads.
And Barr with his rhetoric and Hyde with his trap,
Had just settled in for a long evening's nap.
When out in The Gulf, there arose such a clatter
They clicked on CNN to see what was the matter.
When what to their wondering eyes should appear
But Tomahawk cruise missiles flying like reindeer.
With a Presidential address, so lively and quick,
They knew in a moment, it must be Saint Slick!
More rapid than eagles, his supporters they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
"Now Conyers, now Gephardt, let's forget about The Vixen!
On Barney! On Maxine! I'm no more...

A blonde was visiting Washington, DC. This was her first time to the city, so she wanted to see the Capitol Building. Unfortunately, she couldn’t find it, so she asked a police officer for directions. “Excuse me, officer, ” the blonde said, “how do I get to the Capitol Building? ” The officer said, “Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It’ll take you right there. ” The blonde thanked the officer and he drove off. Three hours later the police officer came back to the same area, and sure enough, the blonde was still waiting at the same bus stop. The officer got out of his car and said, “Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol Building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus. That was three hours ago. Why are you still waiting? ” The blonde said, “Don’t worry, officer, it won’t be long now. The 45th bus just went by! ”

[surprisingly bi-partisan]


'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE IMPEACHMENT
December 17, 1998

'Twas The Night Before Impeachment, When all through the House,
All Congress was stirring, Even Conyers, the louse.

The Articles were hung by the Capitol with care,
In hopes that Saint Bubba would be trapped in the lair.
The Republicans were nestled, all smug with The Feds,
While visions of perjury danced in their heads.

And Barr with his rhetoric and Hyde with his trap,
Had just settled in for a long evening's nap.

When out in The Gulf, there arose such a clatter
They clicked on CNN to see what was the matter.
When what to their wondering eyes should appear
But Tomahawk cruise missiles flying like reindeer.

With a Presidential address, so lively and quick,
They knew in a moment, it must be Saint Slick!
More rapid than eagles, his supporters they came,
And he whistled and more...

A blonde is visiting Washington, DC. This is her first time to the city, so she wants to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she can't find it, so she asks a police officer for directions.

'Excuse me, officer,' the blonde says,' how do I get to the Capitol building?'

The officer says,' Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It'll take you right there.'

The blonde thanks the officer and he drives off. Three hours later the police officer comes back to the same area, and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop.

The officer gets out of his car and says,' Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus. That was three hours ago. Why are you still waiting?'

The blonde says,' Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 45th bus just went by!'