Cart Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man parked his car at the supermarket and was walking past an empty cart when he heard a woman ask, "Excuse me, did you want that cart?""No," he answered. "Im only after one thing."As he walked toward the store, he heard her murmur, "Typical male."

(I heard this from an MIT grad, who says it's a classic).
A student pushes a loaded shopping cart up to the express checkout
lane at a Cambridge grocery store. The cashier looks at the cart,
looks at the student, looks at the "EXPRESS-EIGHT ITEMS OR LESS"
sign, and says to the student, "Are you from Harvard, where they
don't know how to count, or MIT, where they don't know how to read?"

Bill and Ralph, both of equal ability, decide to have a round together and "play it as it lays" on all shots. Both hit their tee shots on the par-5 first hole down the middle and about 260 yards. They drive up for the second shot, and Bill hits his shot down the middle for an easy approach, but Ralph slices his over the trees and it ends up in the cart path of the adjoining hole.
"Guess I get a free drop from the cart path," he says. "Oh no," says Bill, "We agreed. Play it as it lays." So Ralph drives Bill up to his ball in front of the green, drops him off and drives over to his ball on the cart path. Bill watches in amusement as sparks shower down from the practice swings of his opponent, then, in amazement as a perfectly struck shot lands on the green and rolls to within 3 ft. of the pin. Ralph drives back to the green.
Bill says, "Great shot back there! What club did you use?" Ralph responds, "Your six iron."

Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
Ride those little electronic cars/dinosaurs at the front of the store.
Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.
Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
Play with the automatic doors.
Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I more...

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket cart?
A: The supermarket cart has a mind of its own.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket cart? A: The supermarket cart has a mind of its own.

Mac and Jimmy were playing their home course. Mac putted out and walked back to the cart. As Jimmy sank his putt, Mac suddenly jumped out of the cart and dropped his pants. He had just sat on a bee and got a nasty sting and desperately asked his partner to get the stinger out. The scene of a man kneeling next to to his playing partner's bare rear end, was too much for the group playing behind the twosome. The group raced up to the two golfers and asked a single question: "What was the bet?"