Cathy Jokes

June 1st, was just a few short days away. It is a special day since it is the birthday of Rodney's wife, Cathy. Rodney asked his wife, what she'd like for her birthday.

"I'd love to be six again," Cathy replied.

Rodney pondered this for awhile. On the morning of Cathy's birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to Six Flags Magic Mountain, a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park, Colossus, Batman Returns, Viper, Goliath, and all the other roller coaster rides there!

Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went, where Rodney ordered her a Big Mac along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie to see Spiderman. Rodney stopped by the concession stand and ordered hot dogs, popcorn, soda pop and candy. What a fabulous adventure! Finally Cathy wobbled home with her more...

Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something' practical' for her birthday.
"Suppose we open a savings account for you?" mother suggested. Cathy was delighted.
"It's your account, darling," mother said as they arrived at the bank, "so you fill out the application."
Cathy was doing fine until she came to the space for' Name of your former bank.'
After a slight hesitation, she put down' Piggy.'

The history teacher announced that the students who could tell her the
source of the following famous quotes would be allowed to go home early.
"The first quote is: 'Four score and seven years ago...'"
Cathy raised her and and answered "Abe Lincoln".
"Very good Cathy, you may go home," said the teacher. "The next quote is
'Give me liberty or
give me..."
Jane raised her hand and blurted out "Patrick Henry."
"Very good Jane, you may also leave."
Meanwhile a boy had his hand up in the back
of the room the whole time and the teacher never acknowledged him and she
said that would be all for the day. She proceeded to write something on
the board when the boy said "Stupid Bitches (women) if it weren't for them
none of this ever would've happened" The teacher turned around and said
"Who said that!" The boy blurts out "Bill Clinton now can I more...

My lover and I can't come to the phone right now but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
Hello! You've reached Jim and Cathy. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Cathy likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right, real slowly. So leave a message and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you."
These words are lovely dark and deep, but I've got promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, so leave a message at the beep.
Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I die before I wake, Remember to erase the tape!
Hello, this is Jack. Unfortunately I can't answer the phone right now because I've just come back from the Mirror Worlds and I'm still made up of antimatter, so if I were to pick up the phone right now, the resulting energy release would make Hiroshima look like a wet firecracker. So leave a message at the more...

A third grade teacher asks her students to use the word 'contagious' in a sentence.
Cathy stands up and says, "Last summer I had the mumps and my mother said it was contagious."
"Very good, Cathy," the teacher says. "Does anyone else have a sentence?"
Julie, a sweet little girl in the front row, stands up and says, "My grandmother says there's a bug going around and it's contagious."
"Excellent, Julie," says the teacher, as she looks around the class and sees Little Johnny waving his hand impatiently. "Yes, Little Johnny, do you have a sentence?"
Little Johnny quickly jumps up and says, "The lady next door was painting her porch with a one inch brush and my dad said it would take the contagious."