Caution Jokes / Recent Jokes
Homelite Zip Start Vac Attack Blower:
Do not point blower in direction of people or pets.
(Wild animals are presumably okay?)
Bono 527 Multi-Purpose Cement:
Exposure may result in confusion.
(Anyone who sniffs glue is more than confused)
Bowl-Fresh Automatic Toilet Cleaning Tablets:
Harmful if swallowed.
(I know a kid who can put a whole orange in his mouth- but that's beside the point)
Sunbeam Simple Press Iron:
To prevent burn injury, keep hand away from heated area.
(I had no idea intense heat could BURN you! Go figure!)
Hungry Jack Lite Syrup:
Caution: Syrup bottle may be hot.
(After lengthy instructions on how to heat the bottle.)
50 Water Balloons:
This bag is not a toy.
(Yes indeed, it's the real thing!)
9 Piece Super Bouncers Bouncing Balls:
This toy is a small ball.
(Apparently that's a bad thing.)
Tagamet HB2000:
Do not take if you are allergic to Tagamet HB2000 or other acid more...
Caution Golfers Crossing
Sun Shine City
Toy Boat
Unique New York
Mixed Biscuits
Red Leather, Yellow Leather
Ship Shape Shitheads
A motorcycle cop had just pulled over a red Porsche after it had run a stop sign."May I see your driver's license and registration please.?"What's the problem, officer?""You just ran that stop sign back there.""Oh come on, pal, there wasn't a car within miles of me.""Nevertheless, sir, you are required to come to complete stop, look both ways, and proceed with caution.""You gotta be kidding me.""It's no joke, sir.""Look, I slowed down almost to a complete stop, saw no one within twenty miles, and proceeded with caution.""That's beside the point, sir. You are supposed to come to a complete stop, and you didn't. Now, if I may see your license and...""You've got a lot of time on your hands, pal. What's the matter, all the donut shops closed?""Sir, I'll overlook that last comment. Let me see your license and registration immediately.""I will, if you can tell me the difference more...
A police officer pulled over a red Porsche after it had run a stop sign. “May I see your driver’s license and registration please? ” the officer asked.
“What’s the problem, officer? ”
“Your just ran the stop sign back there at the last intersection. ”
“Oh, come on pal, there wasn’t a car within miles of me. ”
“Nevertheless sir, you are required to come to a full and complete stop, look both ways, and proceed with caution. ”
“You gotta be kidding me! ”
“It’s no joke, sir. ”
“Look, I slowed down almost to a complete stop, saw no one within twenty miles, and proceeded with caution. ”
“That’s beside the point, sir. You are supposed to come to a full and complete stop, and you didn’t. Now if I may see your license and registration. ”
“You’ve got a lot of time on your hands, PAL! What’s the matter, all the doughnut shops closed? ”
“Sir, I’ll overlook that last comment. Let me see more...