Cave Jokes / Recent Jokes

Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures of the office and went skiing. Alas, no sooner did he reach the slopes than he heard an ominous rumbling, moments later a sheet of snow came crashing toward him.

Fortunately, Mr. Jacobson was able to jump into a cave just before the avalanche hit. Just as fortunately, he had matches with him and was able to light a fire.

Hours later, when everyone but Mr. Jacobson had returned, a rescue team was sent to search for him. After several hours they saw smoke curling from the cave and went to investigate.

Poking his head into the entrance, one of the rescuers yelled, "Mr. Jacobson, are you there? It's the Red Cross."

Bristling, the harried executive called back, "I already gave at the office!"

A group of bats, hanging at the ceiling of a cave, discovers a single bat
STANDING upright underneath on the floor of the cave.
Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask this fellow: "What the heck
are you doing down there?"
And the fellow shouts back: "Yoga!"

A group of bats, hanging at the ceiling of a cave, discovers a single batSTANDING upright underneath on the floor of the cave. Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask this fellow: "What the heckare you doing down there?"And the fellow shouts back: "Yoga!"

Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood.

One says, "Let's fly out of the cave and get some blood."

"We're new here," says the second one. "It's dark out, and we don't know where to look. We'd better wait until the other bats go with us."

The first bat replies, "Who needs them? I can find some blood somewhere." He flies out of the cave. When he returns, he is covered with blood.

The second bat says excitedly, "Where did you get the blood?"

The first bat takes his buddy to the mouth of the cave. Pointing into the night, he asks, "See that black building over there?"

"Yes," the other bat answers.

"Well," says the first bat, "I didn't."

Who Says There's No Such Thing As a Stupid Question?
These are questions that people actually asked of Park
Rangers around the country, proving once again that there
is no known limit to the depths of human stupidity.
(Source: Outside Magazine, May 1995, pp. 120-121)
Grand Canyon National Park
Was this man-made?
Do you light it up at night?
I bought tickets for the elevator to the bottom -
where is it?
Is the mule train air conditioned?
So where are the faces of the presidents?
Everglades National Park
Are the alligators real?
Are the baby alligators for sale?
Where are all the rides?
What time does the two o'clock bus leave?
Denali National Park (Alaska)
What time do you feed the bears?
Can you show me where the yeti lives?
How often do you mow the tundra?
How much does Mount McKinley weigh?
Mesa Verde National Park
Did people build this, or did Indians?
Why did they build the ruins so more...

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelt the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.
He told them to go away and let him get some sleep. However, the bats persisted until finally he gave in. "OK, follow me," he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees. Finally, he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.
"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked. "Yes, yes, yes!" the bats all screamed in a hungry frenzy."Good," said the first bat, "Because I didn't!"

There once was a man named Dave, who found a dead whore in a cave. She was ugly as shitand missing one tit, but think of the money he saved!