Celebrating Jokes / Recent Jokes

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary.
Their domestic tranquillity had long been the talk of the town.

A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret
of their long and happy marriage.
"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the man.
"We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom
on the canyon by pack mule.
We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled.
My wife quietly said,' That's once.'
We proceeded a little further and the mule stumbled again.
Once more my wife quietly said,' That twice.'
We hadn't gone a half- mile when the mule stumbled the third time.

My wife quietly removed a revolver from her pocket and shot the mule dead.
I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when she looked at me
and quietly said' That's once.'"

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town, and on this special occasion, a local newspaper reporter paid them a visit. He inquired as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. "Well," explained the husband, "it all goes back to our honeymoon. We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule." "We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled. My wife quietly said' That's once.' We proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly spoke:' That's twice.' We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time. My wife promptly removed a revolver from her purse, hopped down off the beast, and shot the mule dead." "I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when she looked at me and quietly said,' Thats once.'"

A young man walked up and sat down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquired.
"I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man.
"6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?"
"Yeah, my first blowjob," the man answered.
"Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house."
"No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

Celebrating
A young man walked up and sat down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquired.
"I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man.
"6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?"
"Yeah, my first blowjob," the man answered.
"Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house."
"No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

A man went into a local tavern and took a seat at the bar next to a women patron.He turned to her and said, "This is a special day, I'm celebrating.""What a coincidence," said the woman, "I'm celebrating, too". She clinked glasses with him and asked, "What are you celebrating?""I'm a chicken farmer," he replied. "For years all my hens were infertile, but today they'refinally fertile.""What a coincidence, the woman said. "My husband and I have been trying to have a child. Today, my gynecologist told me I'mpregnant! How did your chickens become fertile?" she asked."I switched cocks," he replied."What a coincidence," she said.

Childhood sweethearts, a couple celebrating their fiftieth anniversary stroll down to their old school and find the desk they'd shared where he had carved, "1 love you Sally." On their way back home, a bag of money falls from a passing armoured car. They find $50, 000 in the bag. He says, "We must give it back." She says, "Finders keepers." Later that day, police ask them if they know anything about the missing money. She says, "No." He says, "She's lying. She hid it in the attic." She says, "He's getting senile." One officer asks him to tell the story from the beginning. He says, "Sally and 1 were walking home from school..." The officer says to his partner, "Come on we are wasting our time here!"

One day two blondes walk into a bar. They go up to the bar tender, order somes drinks and then go to a table and celebrating and chanting, "51 days,51 days,51 days!" A couple seconds later two more blondes walk in, order drinks, and go to the same table as the other blondes and start chanting, "51 days,51 days,51 days!" Then another blonde walks in and goes up to the bar. The bar tender notices a picture frame in her hand. She gets her drink and goes to the same table, sets the picture in the middle of the table and starts chanting "51 days." The bar tender was so curious what they were doing so he went over and saw a puzzle in the picture frame on the table. Finally, he asked the blonde, "What are you guys celebrating and why are you chanting 51?"
The blonde replied, "Well, we all put this puzzle together and on the box it said 2 to 4 years but we put it together in 51 days!"