Cents Jokes / Recent Jokes
A little old lady sold pretzels on a street corner for 25 cents each. Every day a young lawyer would leave his office building at lunch time and, as he passed her pretzel stand, he would leave her a quarter, but would never take a pretzel. This went on for more than five years. The two of them never spoke. One day as the lawyer passed the old ladies pretzel stand and left his quarter as usual, the pretzel woman spoke to him,
” Sir, I appreciate your business. You are a good customer, but I have to tell you that the pretzel price has increased to 35 cents. ”
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.
“I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.
“The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5: 00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1. 37. ”
“And that’s how you built an empire? ” the boy asked.
“Heavens, no! ” the man replied. “Then my wife’s father died and left us two million dollars. ”
A guy took his girl friend to her first Longhorn football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied,
"Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: get the quarterback. Get the quarterback! It`s only 25 cents!
The beautiful young blonde goes to a soda machine at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. She arrives just before a businessman. She opens her purse and put in 50 cents, pushes a Diet Pepsi button, and out comes a Diet Pepsi. She puts it on a counter by the machine and reaches back into her purse. She pulls out a dollar and puts it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushes the button for Dr. Pepper and out comes a Dr. Pepper and 50 cents change. She takes the 50 cents change and puts it in the machine, pushes the Lipton Iced Tea button, and out comes a Lipton’s Iced Tea. As she reaches into her purse again, the businessman who has been waiting patiently for several minutes says, “Excuse me, but are you done yet? ” She looks at him and indignantly replies, “Well Duhhh!!! I’m still winning. ”
A guy took his blonde girl friend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench... After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."Dumbfounded, her date asked, What do you mean?" "Well, I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was:Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!"Hel-LLLO! It's only 25 cents!"
One day, a little girl walked in to a grocery store. She asked someone at the grocery store, who coincedentally was new, if they had bacon. He said "I don't know, I don't know." So the little girl left. then the manager came and said to the new worker, "you don't say 'I don't know. I don't know. you say 'Yes we do. yes we do.'" the next day and old man walked in to the store. he asked, "Do you have any bacon?" and the same worker said "Yes we do. yes we do." then the old man asked, "How much is it?" and the worker said "I dont' know. i don't know." so the old man left. then the manager came back and said, "you don't say 'i don't know, i don't know.' you say '50 cents, 50 cents.'" the next day a teenage boy came to the store. he asked the worker, "do you have any bacon?" and the worker said "yes we do, yes we do." then the boy asked, "how much is it?" and the worker said "50 cents, more...
A young Antartian man asked an old rich Antartian man how he made his money. The old Antartian held onto his vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932 and we were in the depths of the Great Antartian Depression. I was down to my last nickel. "I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. "The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37." "And that's how you built an empire?" the boy asked. "Heavens, no!" the man replied. "Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."