Champion Jokes / Recent Jokes
GENERAL Gul Hasan in his Memoirs has one amusing episode about the famous wrestler Gama who migrated from Patiala to Pakistan in 1947.
'When everyone had eaten, there were some delegations waiting to see the Governor-General. The first of these was headed by Gama, our champion wrestler. Khawaja Nizamuddin talked to him for a bit and then moved on, leaving it to Mudie to sort out his problems. I was with Mudie.
Gama told him he could not make ends meet, leave alone attempting to keep himself in shape for any tournaments that might be arranged. In the princely State of Patiala, where he had been, he was given a handsome salary and all his nourishment was provided free of cost.
Mudie casually asked him how much it amounted to. Gama replied he did not know the cost but he was provided with the following items daily: six gallons of milk, an equal amount of purified butter, and a long catalogue of other such devastating items in equally devastating more...
After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, ''You wanna hear a blonde joke?'' The person replies, ''I am 240 pounds, world kickboxing champion and a natural blonde. My friend is 190 pounds, world judo champion and is a natural blonde. And my other friend is 200 pounds, world arm wrestling champion and is also a natural blonde. Do you still want to tell me that blonde joke?''
The man thinks for a while and replies, ''Not if I have to explain it three times.''
After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink.
Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, ”You wanna hear a blonde joke? ”
The person replies, ”I am 240 pounds, world kickboxing champion and a natural blonde. My friend is 190 pounds, world judo champion and is a natural blonde. And my other friend is 200 pounds, world arm wrestling champion and is also a natural blonde.
Do you still want to tell me that blonde joke? ”
The man thinks for a while and replies, ”Not if I have to explain it three times. ”
I had lunch with a chess champion the other day. I knew he was a chess champion because it took him 20 minutes to pass the salt.
A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a
new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and
says, ''All you have to remember with this horse is that every
time you approach a jump, you have to shout, 'ALLLLEEE OOOP!'
really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that,
you'll be fine.''
The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the
command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle.
The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the
horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.
They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey,
somewhat embarrassed, whispers 'Aleeee ooop' in the horse's
ear. The same thing happens-the horse crashes straight through
the center of the jump.
At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, ''It's no good, I'll
have to do it,'' and yells, ''ALLLEEE OOOP!'' really loudly. Sure
enough, the horse sails over the jump with no more...
Game Show Set Recreated in White House Basement
President George W. Bush has sought answers on Iraq from Ken Jennings, the champion of the popular game show "Jeopardy," White House aides confirmed today.
Mr. Bush first came to believe that Mr. Jennings might have the answers on Iraq when he saw the game-show whiz on television earlier this summer, telling aides, "That there is the smartest man in the world."
After contacting Mr. Jennings, White House aides began constructing a mock-up of the "Jeopardy!" set in the basement of the White House and enlisted "Jeopardy!" host Alex Trebek to reprise his usual role.
Instead of the usual potpourri of "Jeopardy!" questions, however, the special White House edition had only categories that pertained to the crisis in Iraq, such as "ANGRY SHIITES," "RUPTURED OIL PIPELINES," and "MASSIVE POWER OUTAGES."
According more...
The champion of champions
One day, some builders are renovating an old building in Jerusalem when Solly, one of the workers, falls through the rotten floor into a previously undiscovered cellar. As the dust settles, Solly sees to his horror a skeleton lying in the corner. The skeleton is wearing a blue and white sash with these words written on it: -
“ALL ISRAEL HIDE-AND-SEEK CHAMPION 1948”