Charge Jokes / Recent Jokes

An gentleman walks into the Guinness world records office and announces that he has set a new record. The man in charge says' well,... what is it?'

The gentleman says' I've completed this 200 piece jigsaw puzzle, and it only took me 18 months!'

And the man in charge says' Well,... why should that be a new world record?!' And the gentleman says' It said on the box 3 to 5 years!'

A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.
" Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client.
"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"
"Well that`s a bit steep, isn`t it?"
"Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what`s your third question?" &

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the Brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the Blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the Stomach, " Because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the Legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the Eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the Rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum And insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few more...

An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow were hired at a construction site. The foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told the Italian guy, "You`re in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman he said, "You`re in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You`re in charge of supplies." He then said, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile." The foreman went away for a of couple hours, and, when he returned, the pile of sand was untouched. He asked the Italian, "Why didn`t you sweep any of it?" The Italian replied, "I no hava no broom. You said to the Chinese fella that he a wasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere." Then the foreman turned to the Scotsman and said, "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile." The Scotsman replied, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a shoovel! Ye left more...

The proprietor of a successful optical shop was instructing his son on how to charge a customer.
"After you have fitted the customer's glasses," he said, "and he asks you what the charge will be, you say,' $10.' Then see if he winces."
"If the customer doesn't wince you say,' For the frames. The lenses will be another $10.'"
"If he still doesn't wince you say firmly,' Each.'"

Four men got stranded on an caribbean island there was an English man, American, Irish man and a Japanese man. They all sat round the camp fire and discussed there roles the English man said ” I will be in charge of making everything” they all agreed the American said ” I will be in charge of our defense and weapons” they all agreed, the Irish man said ” I will be in charge of all the cooking” they all agreed. So the men went off leaving the Japanese man sitting there he said to the English man “What can i do” the English man replied “you can be in charge of the supplies” he was very happy with this.
Later that afternoon the Japanese man stood up and run off into the jungle the others thought he had seen something and had gone to investigate but he was gone for hours they left him to it and sat around the camp fire talking and waiting for the Japanese man to come back hours went by and still he had not come back so they all decided to go to sleep and when they more...

An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman, he says, "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies." The foreman then shrugs his beefy shoulders and says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a good dent in that pile of sand by the time I get back." A few hours later when the foreman returns, he sees that the pile of sand is still untouched. Pointing to the pile of sand, the forman says to the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replies in a heavy accent, "I no gotta broom. You tella the Chinesea guy he inna charge of a supplies, but hea disappeara, and I coulda no finda him!" Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and asks, " Didn't I tell you to shovel that sand?" The more...