Charismatic Jokes

There was this man who had a dog which he was attempting to train, but alas had very little success. He was on the verge of despair when he happened across a very charismatic evangelist. He unburdened his soul to him, and he promptly informed him to leave the dog with him, and he would have it trained in a jiffy.
The next day the man returns, and asks how the evangelist got on. The reply was positive, and the evangelist calls the dog to give a demonstration. Picking up a stick, he throws it and says, "Fetch."
Instantly the dog takes off, grabs the stick and returns. The evangelist says, "Drop" and the dog drops the stick at his feet.
"Roll over," and the dog rolls over. By this time the dog's owner is very excited, and asks if he can have a go.
"Sure," replies the evangelist.
"Heel," says the owner and the dog lifts one paw, places it on the man and says, "I command this sickness to leave you..."

The Mark I Charismatic Autonomous Terminator (CAT) system is a family of intelligent, stealthy, terminal-homing mouse-seeking missiles featuring multi-sensor targeting with dual night-vision devices, and neural-net architecture.

The CAT's self-righting inertial platform allows launch from any attitude. Integrated multi-aspect attack profile with indefinite- loiter mode insure a wide lethality envelope. Upon target engagement, the CAT deploys four clusters of retractable submunitions in addition to the primary warhead, providing an enhanced radius of destruction.

The CAT uses regular or exotic solid or liquid fuel and is equipped with a low-signature exhaust-obscuration system. Firmware and connectors compatible with any unit of the Mark I series guarantee unlimited expansion capability, making the CAT system a cost-effective countermeasure to the projected spectrum of rodent-threat scenarios well into the next century.

The CAT is now available* from more...