Charities Jokes / Recent Jokes

I am always getting those return address labels from charities wanting money.The other day, I got one from an Alzheimer's group. Funny though, they forgot to put my street name on them!

Chorus: The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Is finding a Christmas tree.
The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Husband (2): Rigging up the lights,
C: And finding a Christmas tree.
The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Inebriated man: Hangovers,
2: Rigging up the lights,
C: And finding a Christmas tree.
The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Frustrated man (4): Sending Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Rigging up the lights,
C: And finding a Christmas tree.
The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Five months of bills,
4: Sending Christmas cards,
3: Hangovers,
2: Rigging up the lights,
C: And finding a Christmas tree.
The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Frustrated wife (6): Facing my in-laws,
C: Five months of bills,
4: Oh, I hate those Christmas cards,
3: more...

During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer:
Change the last line of the Lord's prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken." and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined.
Two weeks later the man approached the Pope again. This time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope delcined. A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts.
At a meeting of the Cardinals, the Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format. "The good news is... that we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!"

During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer:
Change the last line of the Lord's prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to
"give us this day our daily chicken." and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to
Catholic charities. The Pope declined. 2 weeks later the man approached the Pope
again. This time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope delcined. A month
later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts. At a meeting of the
Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format.
The good news is... that we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news is
that we lost the Wonder Bread account!