Charts Jokes

Actual writings on hospital charts ("Actual"? Mmmm...)
She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year
On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared
The patient is tearful and crying constsntly. She also appears to be depressed
The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993
Discharge status: Alive but without my permission
Healthy appearing decrepit 68 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful
The patient refused autopsy
The patient has no previous history of suicides
Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital
Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the last 3 days
Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch
She is numb from her toes down
While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and more...

The following statements were found on patient's charts during a recent review of medical records. These statements were written by various health care professionals including (we're afraid) a doctor or two at several major hospitals: "The lab test indicated abnormal lover function." "Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized." "The skin was moist and dry." "The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch." "She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce." "The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed." "I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy." "The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week." "Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los more...

On successive charts of the same organization, the number of boxes will never decrease.