Chases Jokes / Recent Jokes
There is a very ancient Chinese saying, "If the weight of the outside world is pressing in, solstice can always be found in happy golden morsels of light entertainment." No. Just kidding. I made that up. But wait, this is real: Jackie Chan's film FIRST STRIKE (Bad Jin Long) is whooping (and I do mean whoop-whooping) good fun. This film's got high speed snowboard chases, chases on stilts, and synchronized swimming with man eating sharks. What more could you ask for? Actually I could ask for subtitles. It would be very convenient, but on second thought, they'd probably be in Chinese. My limited mental capacity (something about bungee jumping from my uncle's shoulders at an impressionable age, back in the old days before they added the cord) prevents me from comprehending Chinese characters flashing on a 10 foot screen at lightning speeds. This happens regardless of whether the characters on the screen are debating philosophical theory or making tea, so it would probably be more...
Two guys are in a bar and the guy says to his friend, "I wanna lose 10 pounds."
His friend says, "Okay give me one hundred dollars."
The guy gives him the money and leaves the bar.
A day later a hot chick is in the guy's front yard. She says, "If you can catch me, I will have sex with you."
The guy chases her around for an hour and loses 10 pounds.
The next day a guy tells the first guy's friend, "I wanna lose 20 pounds."
The friend says, "Okay give me two hundred dollars."
The second guy gives the friend the money and leaves.
The next day a hot chick is in the second guy's yard.
She says, "If you can catch me you can have sex with me."
The second guy chases her around for two hours and loses 20 pounds.
The next day a fast olympic athlete tells the guys' friend he wants to lose 30 pounds.
The guys' friend thinks and then finally says, "Okay give me three hundred more...
You're mama is so poor that she chases the garbage truck with a shopping list.
Yo mama's so poor, she chases a garbage truck with a grocery list!