Cheat Jokes / Recent Jokes
Three guys die and end up at the gates of heaven, talking to St. Peter."So," Peter asks the first guy, "how many times did you cheat on your wife?""None. I had a perfect marriage." "Great," says Peter. "You get to cruise around heaven in a Mercedes. And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife?""Only twice, I think," says the second guy."Okay. You get to cruise around heaven in a Cadillac. And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife?""12 times. Maybe 13," says the third guy. "Okay," says Peter. "You get a rusty Ford." Later that day, the guy in the Cadillac sees the guy in the Mercdes crying. "What's wrong?""I just saw my wife.""So?""She was riding a skateboard."
In a recent study, scientists say women with higher estrogen levels aremore likely to dress provocatively and cheat on their mates. Scientistsalso admit they slipped the estrogen into the women's drinks.
Two lawyers, Jon and Chuck, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers Chuck a bet. “Let's say we bet $50. ”
Chuck agrees and they're off.
After the 8th hole, Chuck is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th. “Help me find my ball. Look over there, ” he said to Jon.
After a few minutes, neither have any luck and a lost ball carries a four-point
penalty, Chuck pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground. “I've found my
ball!!! ” he announces.
Jon looks at him. “After all of the years we've been partners and playing together, you'd cheat me out of a lousy 50 bucks? ”
“What do you mean, cheat? I found my ball sitting right there! ”
“And you're a liar, too! ” Jon said. “I’ll have you know I've been STANDING on
your ball for the last five minutes! ”
A LIGHTER LOOK AT MARRIAGE Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man." Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it." Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in most countries, son. Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it more...