Cheating Jokes / Recent Jokes

A
blonde suspected that her boyfriend was cheating on
her, so she bought a gun. She went to his apartment
that same day, with the pistol in hand. Sure enough,
when she opened the door, she found her boyfriend in
the arms of a redhead. Overcome with grief, she put
the gun to the side of her head. Her boyfriend screamed,
"Honey, don't do it...

Experts say it is not uncommon for Alzheimer's patients, who live in the moment, to embark on new romantic relationships--which is not considered truly cheating on one's marriage.

Upon hearing this news, Bill Clinton held a press conference announcing that he's been suffering from Alzheimer's for the past 30 years.

1. You've named that purple elephant that follows you everywhere.
2. Vision Imparment goggles don't change anything.
3. You earn $30 by counting your money again.
4. You use your beer belly as a coffee table.
5. You fly home every night.
6. Your wife keeps telling you not to light the house on fire but you don't listen. What does she know anyway?
7. Your house is fire proofed but you still manage to burn it to the ground.
8. You have a second, third anniversary.
9. The dog is drunk to.
10. No one you see can stop moving.
11. You offer the police officer that pulls you over a cold one.
12. The officer asks you about the vehicle you're pulling, you reply with "whats wrong with towing a boat?" to which he replies "Nothing, but we do require you put it on a trailer."
13. "Could you ask your friends to get out of the boat, sir?"
14. Your designated driver has horrible gas milage... and you wake up more...

posh and Becks are sitting in front of the television watching the six
> o'clock news. The main story is a man threatening to jump off the
> Clifton
> Suspension Bridge on to the busy road below.
>
> Posh turns to Becks and says: "David, I bet you 5,000 that he jumps!"
> to
> which Beckham replies "5,000? Done! I bet that he doesn't." So they
> shake
> hands on the bet and continue watching.
>
> Sure enough, the man jumps and hits the road below with a loud thud.
> Beckham
> takes 5,000 out of his back pocket and hands it to Posh. But she
> refuses.
> "I
> can't take your money, David," she says. "The truth is, I was cheating.
> I
> saw the five o'clock news, so I knew he was going to jump."
>
> "No, babe, fair's fair" says David. "That money is yours fair and
> square. I
> was cheating just as you were. I saw the five o'clock news, too. more...

(I have to admit, this is the most accurate one that I've seen so far)

Do not scroll down to see the answers!!!

Adam Sandler's personality test...

You must follow the rules on this one exactly, otherwise it won't work. It's really scary how this works out. NO CHEATING!!!!

First, get a pen (or pencil) and paper.

Second, write the numbers one through six in a column.

Next to number one, write any number...

Next to number two, write the name of anyone to which you are really attracted (excluding spouses and current significant others)...

Next to three, write down the first color you can think of...

Next to number four, write the name of your first pet (when you were a kid, growing up)....

Next to number five write down the name of the first family member that comes to mind...

Next to number six write down the name of the second family member that comes to more...

Finals Scam: Revenge of the Profs. - from my Archive with thanks to Mike Lutz
The Finals Week item, with 50 things to do during a final you know you will flunk, inspires me to pass along this true story from RIT. Acknowledgements are due my colleague Ken Reek, and former graduate student Ed Ford, who together pulled the scam off with aplomb.
Several years ago, Ken was assigned two sections of a large service course taken primarily by business students. The final exam was multiple choice, and had a well-deserved reputation for being easy to cheat on (one proctor, 250-300 students). Ken was determined to plug this hole, at least for one term.
One nice thing about such a large class is that no student knows everyone else who is enrolled. Using this, Ken asked Ed to attend the final and pretend to take it like everyone else. Ken also told Ed to be as blatent as possible about cheating.
At the start of the exam, Ken announced that anyone caught cheating off another more...

Tiger Woods got caught cheating on golf. It seems that golf looked at Tiger's cell phone and saw he got some inappropriate texts from football and tennis.