Chemical Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car.The car broke down. The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke." The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas." The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system." All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?" The Computer Engineer said, "I think we should all get out and get back in."

You won't beleive this. It's a true story. Ahem: About a year ago I was at Science Class and sitting beside my buddy Chad. We were in this huge science lab, and were waiting for our assighnment Mr.Hall wlked in, and wrote on the marker board. "All students will be required to wear they're goggles and an apron. Pair up with a partner and you will each be given a series of chemicals. make predictions about what you think they are. Look, touch,(with gloves)and write down observations. Next, heat the chemical you observed, and describe what happens. Do not over heat bunsen burner! Record observations in science journal, and wait for further directions."
Chad and I put on our gear and grabbed our chemicals. I tested a few, but came up on one that I couldn't figure out. Chad on the other hand, was doing fine with his half.
"What do you think this is?" "Dunno" Chad replied, he lit the burner. I observed the liquid. it was clear, and looked like more...

Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every
year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen
monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms
of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling,
nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawl
means certain death.
Dihydrogen monoxide:
1. is also known as hydric acid, and is the major component of acid rain
2. contibutes to the "greenhouse effect"
3. may cause severe burns
4. contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape
5. accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals
6. may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile breaks
7. has been found in excised tumors of terminal more...

Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there.

Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death.

Dihydrogen monoxide: is also known as hydric acid, and is the major component of acid rain. contributes to the "greenhouse effect." may cause severe burns. contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape. accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals. may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes. has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.

CONTAMINATION IS REACHING more...

BAN DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE! THE INVISIBLE KILLER

Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means death.

Dihydrogen monoxide:

* is also known as hydric acid, and is the major component of acid rain.

* contributes to the "greenhouse effect."

* may cause severe burns.

* contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.

* accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.

* may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of more...

Charlie was a chemist
But Charlie is no more.
What Charlie thought was H2O
Was H2SO4.