Cheque Jokes / Recent Jokes
Credit Card Classic Sarcasm!!
Rajiv and Mona are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 20th anniversary.
Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an
uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach.
However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.
An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, "Mona, did we pay our Rs 5lakh deposit cheque yet to ICICI Bank?"
"No, sweetheart," she responds.
Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Mona, did we pay our ICICI Bank Master card yet?"
"Oh no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send more...
In March, 1999 a man living in Kandos (near Mudgee in NSW) received a bill for his as yet unused gas line stating that he owed $0. 00. He ignored it and threw it away.
In April he received another bill and threw that one away too. The following month the gas company sent him a very nasty note stating they were going to cancel his gas line if he didn't send them $0. 00 by return mail. He called them, talked to them, and they said it was a computer error and they would take care of it.
The following month he decided that it was about time that he tried out the troublesome gas line figuring that if there was usage on the account it would put an end to this ridiculous predicament. However, when he went to use the gas, it had been cut off.
He called the gas company who apologised for the computer error once again and said that they would take care of it. The next day he got a bill for $0. 00 stating that payment was now overdue. Assuming that having spoken to them the more...
The Queen Elizabeth, Bill Clinton and the Sri Lankan president died and went to hell.
The Queen Elizabeth said: I miss England, I wanna call England and see how everybody is doing there.... she called and talked for about 5 minutes... then she said: well, devil how much do I owe you????
The devil goes: five million dollars... five million dollars!!! she made him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair....
Bill Clinton was so jealous, he starts screaming, me too I wanna call the united states, I wanna see how everybody is doing too... he called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he said: well, devil how much do I owe you????
The devil goes: ten million dollars..... ten million dollars!!!! he made him a cheque and went to sit back on his chair.....
The Sri Lankan president was extremely jealous too... he starts
screaming and screaming,, I wanna call Sri Lanka too, I wanna see how everybody is doing there too, I wanna talk to the ministers, to the more...
Rajiv and Mona are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to
celebrate their 40th anniversary.
Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces,
"Ladies
and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have
ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing.
Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to
land on the beach.
However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to
live
on the island for the rest of our lives!"
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the
island.
An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, "Mona, did we pay our
Rs
5lakh deposit cheque yet to ICICI Bank?"
"No, sweetheart," she responds.
Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Mona, did we
pay
our ICICI Bank Master card yet?"
"Oh no! I`m more...
Dear Bank Manager,I am writing to thank you for bouncing the check with which I endeavoured to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations some three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check, and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honour it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire salary, an arrangement which, I admit, has only been in
place for eight years.You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account with $50 by way of penalty for the inconvenience I caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to re-think my errant financial ways. You have set me on the path of fiscal righteousness.No more will our relationship be blighted by these unpleasant incidents, for I am restructuring my affairs in 2005, taking as my model the procedures, attitudes and conduct of your very bank. I can think of no greater more...
An older, white haired man walked into a jewellery store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweller he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a $5, 000 ring and showed it to him.
The old man said:" I don't think you understand, I want something very special." At that statement, the jeweller went to his special stock and brought another ring over.
"Here's a stunning ring at only $40, 000," the jeweller said. The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said: "We'll take it."
The jeweller asked how payment would be made and the old man stated by cheque. "I know you need to make sure the cheque is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank on Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.
Monday morning, a very peed-off jeweller more...
One day an edlderly customer presented a cheque to the paying counter where I was working as a cashier.
His name was MR.. .... Perera.
While scrutinizing the cheque I found every thing is in order but the cheque was drawn in favour of Perera and sons. As a practice in Sri Lanka, an individual cannot cash such cheques over the counter.
So, I explained very politely to the presenter.
" Mr. Perera, this cheque is for Perera and sons, not for you "
" That's right, my three sons also here"