Cheque Jokes / Recent Jokes

The fur coat
David Levy and a beautiful woman walk into a very posh Hendon furrier.
"Show the lady your finest mink!" David says.
So the furrier goes into the storeroom and comes out with an absolutely stunning full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, the furrier goes over to David and discreetly whispers in his ear, "Ah, sir, that particular fur coat goes for £20,000."
"No problem! I`ll write you out a cheque."
"Very good, sir," says the furrier. "Today is Friday, you may come by on Tuesday to pick it up after the cheque has cleared."
So David and the woman leave.
On Tuesday, David returns to the shop, on his own. The furrier is outraged to see him.
"How dare you show your face in here? There wasn`t a single penny in your bank account."
"I just had to come by," grinned David, "to thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life."

Queen Elizabeth, Bush & Musharraf died & went straight to hell.
Queen Elizabeth said "I miss England, I want to call England and see how everybody is doing there.
She called and talked for about 5 minutes,
then she asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you????
The devil says "Five million dollars"
She wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.

Bush was soo jealous, he starts screaming,
"My turn! I wanna call the United States, I want to see how everybody is doing there too"
He called and talked for about 2 minutes,
then he asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you????
The devil says "Ten million dollars"
With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to sit back on his chair.

Musharraf was even more jealous & starts screaming, "I want to call Pakistan too,
I wanna talk to the ministers, to the deputy, I wanna talk to everybody of more...

What a world? (country NSW)... On Thursday, 24 January 2002, Derek Guille broadcast this story on his afternoon program on ABC radio.

In March, 1999, a man living in Kandos (near Mudgee in NSW) received a bill for his as yet unused gas line stating that he owed $0. 00. He ignored it and threw it away. In April he received another bill and threw that one away too.

The following month the gas company sent him a very nasty note stating they were going to cancel his gas line if he didn't send them $0. 00 by return mail. He called them, talked to them, and they said it was a computer error and they would take care of it.

The following month he decided that it was about time that he tried out the troublesome gas line figuring that if there as usage on the account it would put an end to this ridiculous predicament. However, when he went to use the gas, it had been cut off. He called the gas company who apologised for the computer error once again and said more...

So the next time someone tells you your cheque (Canadianism) is in the mail,
you just might think about believing it.
The spelling of "cheque" is an Englishism. The fact that it's been in the
mail for the last 8 years and hasn't arrived yet, that's a Canadianism.

There were two rich brothers who looked great on the outside, even attending church regularly, but whose hearts were evil.
A new, more astute pastor arrived at the church. The congregation grew and a fund raising campaign was started to extend the church.
All of a sudden, one of the brothers died. The day before the funeral the remaining brother sidled up to the pastor and gave him a cheque for the full amount needed to complete the extensions.
"Just one condition," he said."At the funeral you must say that my brother was a saint." The pastor gave him his word and deposited the cheque. The next day, at the funeral, the pastor let it all go.
"He was an evil man," he said, hard on his wife and family, corrupt in business," and on and on. He concluded, "but, compared to his brother, he was a saint."

Queen Elizabeth, Bush and Chandrika all died and went to hell.
Queen Elizabeth said: "I miss England, I would be pleased to phone England and see how everybody is doing there"
So she called and talked for about 5 minutes.
Then she asked:
"Well devil, how much do I owe you?"
The devil: "A million pounds".
"A million pounds!!!????" & she made him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.
Bush was so jealous, he starts screaming, "Me too, I wanna Phone the USA, I wanna see how everybody is doing too. So He called and talked for about 2 minutes,
Then he asked:
"Well, devil how much do I owe you?"
The devil: "Two million dollars".
"Two million dollars!!!!!!???" & he Made him a cheque and went to sit back on his chair.
Chandrika was extremely jealous too. She starts screaming and screaming "I also want to phone Srilanka! I want to see how everybody is more...

Queen Elizabeth, Bush & Musharraf died & went straight to hell. Queen Elizabeth said "I miss England, I want to call England and see how everybody is doing there. She called and talked for about 5 minutes, then she asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you????

The devil says "Five million dollars". .

She wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair. Bush was soo jealous, he starts screaming, "My turn! I wanna call the United States, I want to see how everybody is doing there too" He called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you????

The devil says "Ten million dollars" With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to sit back on his chair. Musharraf was even more jealous & starts screaming, "I want to call Pakistan too, I wanna talk to the ministers, to the deputy, I wanna talk to everybody of my Parliment"..... He called
Pakistan and more...