Chicken Jokes / Recent Jokes

Angry Judge In Court: Order, Order
Defendant: If You Insist, i’ll Have A Chicken Burger.

Chichen Feathers There once was a chicken farmer who lived in a small village in China. One year, all of his chickens were afflicted with a strange blight that caused them to lose their feathers. The farmer was deeply concerned about this, because winter was coming, and, if the chickens had no feathers, they would freeze to death. So, the farmer decided to consult the two wisest men in the land. First, he visited Mr. Ching, the renowned scholar. Mr. Ching leafed through all his agricultural and medicinal texts and pored over books and scrolls well into the night. Finally, he returned to the farmer and told him that, if he crushed the leaves of a gum tree into powder, made it into tea, and fed it to his chickens, they would be cured. The farmer then went to Mr. Ming, the great seer. Mr. Ming cast stones, read tea leaves, and poked through entrails until finally he came up with the answer: "Tea made from gum leaves will cause feathers to stick to chicken." Now the farmer was more...

Famous interpretations of "Why did the Chicken cross the road?"
Bill Clinton:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please...
Louis Farrakhan:
The road, you will see, represents the black man.
The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him down!
Colonel Sanders:
I missed one?
L.A Poliece Department:
Give us five minutes with the chicken, and we'll find out.
Jerry Falwell:
Because the chicken was gay! isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the other side. thats what "they" call it: the "other side". Yes, my friends the chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too!
Ronald Regan:
What Chicken?
Saddam Hussein:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion, and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it!
ROBERT DE more...

Flash - New Weapon in America's Arsenal - Dubbed 'The Chicken Gun'Senate majority leader Howard H. Baker Jr., expressed astonishment to the Senate, over recent news accounts of an Air Force "chicken gun."It seems the gun is a converted 20-foot cannon capable of hurling dead four-pound chickens at airplanes at 700 miles per hour... The armament is used to help find ways to reduce accidents caused by jets hitting birds."My first reaction to this story was one of bitterness," Baker told colleagues."I wonder why a 'special classified briefing' had not been set up for members of Congress on the new chicken gun and I wondered if Secretary of Defense Casper Weinberger was planning one."Baker also wondered aloud "how far along the Soviet Union is with the deployment of their 'chicken gun', and how will our Minuteman, Midgetman and Sparrow missles get along with this new weapon..."Baker went on to wonder if the Navy might be working on it's own version more...

One day our Santa decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer. He found a nice, used chicken farm, which he bought. Turns out that his next door neighbour, Banta, was also a chicken farmer.
Banta came for a visit one day and said, "Chicken farming isn't easy. Tell you what. To help you get started, I'll give you 100 chickens."
Santa was thrilled. Two weeks later Banta stopped by to see how things were going.
Santa said, "Not too good. All 100 chickens died."
Banta said, "Oh, I can't believe that. I've never had any trouble with my chickens. I'll give you 100 more."
Another two weeks went by, and Banta stops in again. Santa says, "You're not going to believe this, but the second 100 chickens died too."
Astounded, Banta asked, "What did you do to them? What went wrong?"
"Well," says Santa, "I'm not sure. But I think I'm not planting them far more...

Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!

Q: Why did the chicken run across the road?A: There was a car coming.