Chicken Jokes / Recent Jokes
Why is a sofa like a roast chicken? Because they're both full of stuffing!
A horse & a little chicken were plying in a field. Suddenly the horse's
foot got stuck in a rabbit borrow,
The horse tried so hard to pull it's foot out, but he couldn't. So he asked for
little chicken's help but being only a little chicken he couldn't do much.
so, the horse said to the chicken "why don't you run home and get the master, he
will be able to pull me out," so the little chicken ran home to look for the
master. Unfortunately, the master was not home, The chicken did not know what to
do.
Chicken looked around and he didn't see any thing that he could use to pull the
horse out. All of a sudden he saw it."Master's Brand new sports car" The chicken
got on the car drove to the field, and tied horse's foot in to the car and
pulled him out. The horse was very grateful. and said I will help you out any
day, if you need my help.
The little chicken said that's very nice of you, and they went more...
Why did the chicken cross the road in Missouri?
To show the opossum it could be done.
Famous Peoples' Conjectures
On Why the Chicken Crossed the Road
Walt Whitman: To cluck the song of itself.
Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored)
reason.
John Paul Jones: It has not yet begun to cross!
Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
Roseanne Barr: Urrrrrp. What chicken?
Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?
William Shakespeare: I don't know why, but methinks I could rattle off a
hundred-line soliloquy without much ado.
Thomas Paine: Out of common sense.
TS Eliot: Weialala leia / Wallala leialala.
Groucho Marx: Chicken? What's all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an
uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we
needed the eggs.
Karl Marx: To escape the bourgeois middle-class struggle.
Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
Mr. Scott: 'Cos ma wee transporter more...
A salesman from KFC walked up to the Pope and offers him a million dollars if he would change "The Lord's Prayer" from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken." The Pope refused his offer. Two weeks later, the man offered the pope 10 million dollars to change it from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken" and again the Pope refused the man's generous offer. Another week later, the man offered the Pope 20 million dollars and finally the Pope accepted. The following day, the Pope said to all his officials, "I have some good news and some bad news. 'The good news is, that we have just received a check for 20 million dollars. The bad news is, we lost the Wonder Bread account!'''
Bachelor's DietMONDAY:BREAKFAST - Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth LUNCH - Send your secretary out for six "gutbombers" those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of maalox.AFTERNOON SNACK - Drink the maaloxDINNER - Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece dinner, don't eat the coleslaw.
TUESDAY: BREAKFAST - Eat the coleslawLUNCH - Go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.DINNER - Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho's.
WEDNESDAY:BREAKFAST - Jaws couldn't eat breakfast after a night at El Flasho's LUNCH - Rolaids and a cokeDINNER - Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps
THURSDAY:BREAKFAST - Order out for more...