Choke Jokes

I wonder if you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

A man want's his wife killed so he calls a hit man named Artie, a jatt. Artie is an old friend of the man and he agrees to kill the man's wife for just one dollar.
So Arti follows the man's wife to Farmer Jacks Grocery store and sees the man's wife. He gets out of his cars and as the man's wife is getting out of her car he goes up to her and chokes her. A guy that worked at the grocery store saw what Arti did and Arti had to go over and choke him too. Then a elderly lady seen what happened and Arti had to choke her too. Again another person seen what was going on and Arti had to choke that person too. Finally the Police came and aressted Arti. The next day on the front page of News Paper the Headline said' Arti- chokes four for a dollar at Farmer Jacks.'

A woman starts to choke in a restaurant. It's evident that she has food stuck in her throat, she can't breathe, and she's turning blue. A waiter quickly stands her up, pulls down her slacks, and takes an enormous swipe with his tongue right across her bare bottom. This miraculously clears her throat and her life is saved.
She said to the waiter, "Thank you! How did you know that would be of such immediate help to me?"
And he replied, "That good old heinie-lick maneuver works every time."