"What to do if someone starts to choke" joke
A woman starts to choke in a restaurant. It's evident that she has food stuck in her throat, she can't breathe, and she's turning blue. A waiter quickly stands her up, pulls down her slacks, and takes an enormous swipe with his tongue right across her bare bottom. This miraculously clears her throat and her life is saved.
She said to the waiter, "Thank you! How did you know that would be of such immediate help to me?"
And he replied, "That good old heinie-lick maneuver works every time."
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