Christians Jokes / Recent Jokes

BaptistryA church's swimming pool. Designed by a finance committee
with a concern for cutting costs.
Blind FaithObsolete phrase meaning visually challenged faith.
BurnoutWhen clergy start preaching from the telephone book. The
result of extreme overwork or excessive stress. Hiding the telephone
book is not a sufficient treatment.
CampingA specialized ministry traditionally offered in the
summertime. Often directed at young people. Theologically, it has the
potential to teach valuable lessons about the Israelites' 40 years in
the wilderness. This is usually thwarted by the tendency of churches
to place their camps in swamps, rather than deserts.
Candlelight ServicesA time when otherwise sensible choirs wander
around in darkened churches singing with fire in their hands. Not
surprisingly, this has been known to affect the quality of music.
Canon LawAn ancient arms limitation treaty.
CassockShort for "clergy hassock". more...

How many Christians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. The Bible makes no mention of lightbulbs.

As Christians, we often have our faith tested by nonbelievers claiming that the Bible contradicts itself. They may then show us scriptures where the Bible is clearly and obviously contradicting itself in order to lead us away from our faith and possibly even into homosexuality!
How do we, as Christians, reconcile these apparent contradictions? Very simply, we must always keep in mind that though the Bible is indeed the inspired word of God, it is written by Jews. I think anyone who's ever dealt with a banker or lawyer knows what a tricky lot they can be! I think it should serve to strengthen our faith that we have God's word at all, considering just how many Jews were involved!
Pray with me now.
Oh Lord God, the Alpha and Omega,
Thank you for your inspired word,
In your infinite wisdom, you knew that
In order to draft your perfect laws and commandments,
You would need to consult with the wily Jew. Amen.

Too many Christians are no longer fishers of men but keepers of the aquarium.

The Fellowship Baptist Church, in Saltillo, Mississippi kicked out a 12-year old boy who accepted Jesus into his heart. Apperantly Jesus is welcome in his heart as long as he prays somewhere else. The good Christians of the Fellowship Bapstist church are a loving group accepting of all kinds of people, providing those people aren't blacks or mulatto like the young boy. After all, love thy neighbor only applies to whitey. In other news, massive lightening strikes have leveled the Saltillo, Mississippi area.