Civilized Jokes

Gwyneth Paltrow said, "The British are much more intelligent and civilized than the Americans." She added, "However,'civilized' don't pay the bills like'Shallow Hal.'"

A Missionary went to what he thought was an totally uninhabited island. He discovered that there were indeed people there, but the inhabitants of the island knew nothing of civilized culture.
The missionary decided that it would be in the natives best interest if he could teach them about civilization. He created small schools in huts and taught the natives how to read and write and do mathmetics.
He would take the natives one by one around the island, and teach them the correct words for objects that they would see. One day, the Missionary is walking around the island with one of the natives.
They walk past a tree. The Missionary points and says to the native, "Tree".
The native repeats, "Tree".
They continue further and come to a bush. The Missionary points to it and says, "Bush".
The native repeats the word, "Bush".
They walk around the bush - and lying on the ground behind it, is a native couple whoopi. The more...

A Missionary went to what he thought was an totally uninhabited island. He discovered that there were indeed people there, but the inhabitants of the island knew nothing of civilized culture. The missionary decided that it would be in the natives best interest if he could teach them about civilization. He created small schools in huts and taught the natives how to read and write and do mathmetics. He would take the natives one by one around the island, and teach them the correct words for objects that they would see. One day, the Missionary is walking around the island with one of the natives. They walk past a tree. The Missionary points and says to the native, "Tree". The native repeats, "Tree". They continue further and come to a bush. The Missionary points to it and says, "Bush". The native repeats the word, "Bush". They walk around the bush - and lying on the ground behind it, is a native couple whoopi. The Missionary hopes that the native more...

A Missionary went to what he thought was an totally uninhabited island. He discovered that there were indeed people there, but the inhabitants of the island knew nothing of civilized culture.The missionary decided that it would be in the natives best interest if he could teach them about civilization. He created small schools in huts and taught the natives how to read and write and do mathmetics.He would take the natives one by one around the island, and teach them the correct words for objects that they would see. One day, the Missionary is walking around the island with one of the natives.They walk past a tree. The Missionary points and says to the native, "Tree".The native repeats, "Tree".They continue further and come to a bush. The Missionary points to it and says, "Bush".The native repeats the word, "Bush".They walk around the bush - and lying on the ground behind it, is a native couple whoopi. The Missionary hopes that the native won't more...