Tree Jokes

Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.

A blonde decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the park.
A few days later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree. He asks the blonde what she is doing and she replies, "I'm hanging myself."
"You're supposed to put the noose around your neck, not your waist," said the onlooker. "I tried that," replied the blonde, "but I couldn't breathe."

A construction site boss was interviewing men for a job, when along came Boudreaux. The boss thought to himself, "I'm not hiring that lazy Cajun," so he decided to set a test for Boudreaux hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument.

The first question was, "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."

Boudreaux says, "Dat's easy," and proceeds to draw three trees.

The boss says, "What the hell is that?"

Boudreaux says, "Tree' n tree' n tree makes nine."

"Fair enough," says the boss. "Second question, same rules, but represent 99."

Boudreaux stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. "Der ya go sir," he says.

The boss scratches his head and asks, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"

Boudreaux more...

Two Indians, Running Bear and Little Beaver went to the outhouse teepee, situated on the edge of a cliff. After using the outhouse teepee, they went back to the village. The next day, they again went to the outhouse teepee. Running Bear said, "Terrible, terrible, the outhouse teepee smells to high heaven! What should we do? We can't ever use it smelling like that!" Little Beaver suggested, "Why don't we just push the outhouse teepee over the cliff, and go build another one?" They both agreed and pushed the outhouse teepee over the cliff.

A few days later, the chief of the tribe called a pow wow. He asked," Who threw the outhouse teepee over the cliff?" No one answered. He then told this story.

When George Washington was a little boy, his father asked, "Who chopped down the cherry tree?" Little boy George Washington answered, "It was I father."

His father was so pleased with the answer, that he rewarded more...

A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. So she went to a playground, grabbed a kid, and took him behind a tree. "I've kidnapped you!", said the blonde and then proceeded to write a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and place it under the pecan tree next to the playground. Signed, A Blonde." The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked under the tree and surely enough, a paper bad was sitting there. The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"