"Suicide" joke

A blonde decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the park.
A few days later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree. He asks the blonde what she is doing and she replies, "I'm hanging myself."
"You're supposed to put the noose around your neck, not your waist," said the onlooker. "I tried that," replied the blonde, "but I couldn't breathe."

One day a man from Alabama comes to Georgia to get an education. He goes to the first professor he sees and says, “What can you teach me?”

Shocked, the professor answers, “Well, I can teach you about the power of reasoning.”

With a questioned look on more...

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Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says,' Hey Dave, how ya more...

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

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A Realtor, driving his buyers around looking at houses, is suddenly pulled over by a policeman. The policeman approaches the Realtor’s car door, and the Realtor says "Is there a problem officer?"
The policeman says, "Sir you were speeding. Can I see your more...

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Devon:Lol, that was just a saying that the one redhead and one bournette sent by gods african tribe and it's beyond crazy to that prehistoric scene that everyone jumped out and climbed up the nearest tree is part of the fatal rescue to run from the fire and guns cause there predators and cant see where the fake incidents lead to and tried laying down thescreaming tand wild gunman to poo the redhead and tribe caled 1-2-3 causing shamble cure masquline sword sorrows in savory prediction.
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autumn:Talk to me.
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autumn:I was just in a tornato.
Funny Joke? 71 vote(s). 79% are positive. 4 comment(s).