Clamp Jokes

"... clamp... sponge... scalpel... oops..."

Below are some actual quotes by doctors doing actual dictation on patients' records (with some comments by me). Could YOUR doctor sound like these? This is really scary! If I have to go to the emergency room and hear my doctor dictating like some of these, I'm going to RUN!!!
The patient denies pregnancy. (And I certainly think he should.)
She does a lot of work around the house. It is kind of localized in the left buttock area.
He was not to lift or drive his car.
For the last 48 hours, the patient was carrying a refrigerator up the stairs. (L-O-O-ONG stairs.)
An ultrasound was ordered on admission of the left foot. (and the patient came back to visit his foot almost evey day.)
Father is currently deceased. (So he may come back???)
She is a small-appearing elderly female. (She only appears small; she's actually 6 foot 2.)
The patient has no temperature today. (Really? The planet Pluto has a temperature!)
The patient has a questionable cousin with more...