Class Jokes / Recent Jokes
An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.
The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."
Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.
Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all.
His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"
One of my teachers always jokes around with us and during class and all the kids talk about his personal life. And one day during class our teacher bent over to pick his pen up and his hiney was all up in my friends face.
And my teachers favorite student said "Hey MR.***, why are you wearing a thong, and then everyone started saying things like "he's wearing a pink frilly thong!" or "it has to be XXL!" And then Mr.*** said loudly "My personal life is none of yalls buisness! Alright?" And every one, including me said "no!" And Mr.*** said " Me and my thong ain't none of yalls buisness!" Clearly Mr*** just admitted that he wears a thong! Everyone busted out laughing, and our teacher was REALLY blushing! LOL!!!
Lecturer: The lecturer is taking the class seriously.
One of the student looking towards the window side in the class room. The lecturer asks the student "For what purpose you are coming to the school?"
Student: For vidhya sir(In Telugu Vidhya means Education).
Lecturer: Then why you are looking towards window?
Student: Vidhya(Girl friend) has not come upto now sir.
Momo's chemistry teacher wanted to teach his ninth grade class a lesson on the evils of liquor so he produed a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Observe" he told his class as he began to put one of the worms in the glass of water. This worm swam about freely and looked as happy as can be.
He then put the second worm in the glass of whiskey and it to swam about for a moment but then started to shake and fell to the bottom dead.
"Now" he asked "What lesson can we learn from this experiment?"
"Thats easy," replied Momo. "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms."
A teacher tells her class the new word for the day is Contagious, she asks the class if they could explain what the word means. She asks Joe if he can explain what the word means and he says, "My Mom says to stay away from kids with chicken pox because they are contagious." The teacher says, "That is very good Joe." Then she picks Suzie, who says, "The atmosphere was Contagious." And the teacher says, "Excellent Suzie." Then she notices that little Johnny has his hand up at the back of the class, "Yes Johnny," she says. Johnny says, "The other day me and my Dad were sitting around and we saw our blonde neighbor painting her fence. She had a tiny little brush you use to paint model cars, and she was going in tiny little stokes up and down the fence." My Dad says to me, "Jesus, its gonna take that cunt ages to finish that fence."
The Teacher asked all the students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except Banta.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
A nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word definitely' in a sentence?"
First little girl says, "The sky is definitely blue."
The teacher says, "Sorry Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange depending on the weather."
Second, a little boy says, "Trees are definitely green."
"Sorry, but in the autumn many trees are brown or gold," said the teacher.
Little Matthew, from the back of the class, stands up and asks, "Does a fart have lumps?"
The teacher looks horrified and says..."Matthew! That's disgusting, of course not!!!"
"OK... then I DEFINITELY shit my pants."