Class Jokes / Recent Jokes

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.
"It's a period,'' said the little boy.
"Well, I can see that,'' she said, ''but what is so exciting about a period?''
" I don't know,'' said the little boy, ''but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself.

A fresh graduate was offered the job of a History Teacher in a Gujarati school. So he brought a glass of water with him in the class and started teaching in Gujarati. He showed the glass to the whole class, and asked, "Can you tell me what is this?"
Students found fun in this approach and in one loud voice responded, "Glass of Water."

Then he showed his middle finger, and asked, "What is this?'

The class in a unified voice boomed, "Your finger."

Then he dipped his finger in the water and asked, "What is this?'

The class loudly said, "Your finger in the water?"

The teacher pulled the finger out of water, kept it pointed towards earth and asked, "What is this?"

The class said, "Your finger out of water."

Then he pointed at a water drop accumulated at the figure tip about to fall, and asked again, "What is this?

The whole more...

A social studies teacher was talking to his class about people's last names and how, in the old days, their last name used to be their occupation.
"For example," the teacher said, "Baker meant the person was a baker for a living, Miller meant the person worked in a paper mill, and so on."
At that point, one of the students raised his hand.
"Do you have an example for the class, Todd?" the teacher asked.
"No, not really," replied Todd, "more of a question."
"What's your question?" inquired the teacher.
"What did John Hancock for a living?" Todd asked.

It was the first day of school and a new student named Martinez, the son of a local Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Martinez, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."
"Very good! Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'?"
Again, no response except from Martinez: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863," said Martinez.
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Martinez, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans."
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Martinez put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."
The more...

Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of hisregular teacher. She says, "Hello class, Im Mrs. Prussy. When you say my name class remember ithas an "r" after the first letter."The entire class says, "Hello Mrs. Prussy."A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little Johnny gets tohis desk the teacher asks what her name is. Johnny thinks hard and the says to the teacher, "I remember it has an "r" afterthe first letter.""Thats right!" she coaxed. Then after a few seconds Little Johnny says, "Mrs. Crunt?"

When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child.
The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child. It went like this:
“Some parents, ” she said, “tell the older child, ‘We love you so much we decided to bring another child into this family. ’ But think about that. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said, ‘Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife. ’”
One of the women spoke up immediately. “Does she cook??? ”

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was."It's a period," said the little boy."Well, I can see that," she said, "but what is so exciting about a period?""Damned if I know," said the little boy, "but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself."