Class Jokes / Recent Jokes

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. Itwas a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenlythere was a giggle from one of the boys in the class.She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat?""Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters.""Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days."The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title theassignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an evenlouder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funnyBilly?""Well miss, I just saw both of your garters."Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe,"I don't want to see you for three weeks."Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. Soshe bends over to more...

I decided to take an aerobics class. I bent, twisted, gyrated and jumped up and down for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

GOOFS FOR TITANIC (1997)
Continuity
Jack won his ticket by beating 2 pair with a full house. However, when we first see Jack's hand, he has nothihg that could be made in to a full house, and only draws one card.
Revealing mistakes
A strip of desert is visible between the dock and the Titanic when docked at Southampton.
Anachronisms
Jack claims to have gone ice fishing on Lake Wissota, which wasn't created until five years after the Titanic sank. Jacks claims to have visited the Santa Monica Pier, which did not begin construction until 1916. The pipe frames supporting the third class berths have set-screw speed rail fittings, not developed until 1946.
Continuity
In the scene where Jack is teaching Rose to spit, there is no spit on his chin as he starts to turn around to face the ladies, but by the time he has completed his turn he has some on his chin.
The main characters have lunch in the Palm Court/Verandah on A Deck. These were not used for more...

An
autopsy professor was giving an introductory lecture
to a class of students. Standing over a corpse, he addressed
the class. 'There are two things you need to make a
career in medical forensics. First, you must have no
fear.' Having said that, he shoved his finger up the
corpse's anus and licked it. 'Now you must do the same,'
he told the class.
After a couple of minutes of uneasy silence, the
class did as instructed.
'Second,' the professor continued, 'you must have
an acute sense of observation. For instance, how many
of you noticed that I put my middle finger up this
man's anus, but licked my index finger?'

At the Russian War College, the general is a guest lecturer and tells the class of officers that the session will focus on potential problems and the resulting strategies. One of the officers in the class begins by asking the first question, "Will we have to fight a World War Three?" "Yes, comrades, looks like you will," answers the general. "And who will be our enemy, Comrade General?" another officer asks. "The likelihood is that it will be China." The class looks alarmed, and finally one officer asks, "But Comrade General, we are 150 million people and they are about 1.5 billion. How can we possibly win?" "Well," replies the general, "Think about it. In modern war, it is not the quantity, but the quality that is the key. For example, in the Middle East, 5 million Jews fight against 50 million Arabs, and the Jews have been the winners every time." "But sir," asks the panicky officer, "Do we have more...

Ok, this girl in my class has really yellow teeth
So her and my friend where blowing on each other
And my friend said: "girl ur teeth so yellow they run crayola out of it job"

A teacher decides to have Career Day in her class. She asks each student to tell the class what their father's job is, spell it, and then explain what they do.
Mary stands up and says, "My father is a policeman. P -O-L-I-C-E-M-A-N. He puts bad people in jail and keeps us all safe."
Sue stands up next and says, "My father is a doctor. D-O-C-T-O-R. He helps sick people get better."
Bobby is next. He stands up and says, "My father is a pharmacist. F...F-R..."
The teacher tells Bobby to sit down and try to figure it out and moves on to the next kid.
Johnny stands up next and says, "My father is a bookie. B-O-O-K-I-E. He'd give you 10-1 odds that Bobby is never going to spell 'pharmacist.'"