Class Jokes / Recent Jokes

See what 50 years will do:


Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack.

1956 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his to show Jack.

2006 - School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

++++++++++++++++++++++

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1956 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends. Nobody goes to jail, nobody arrested, nobody expelled.

2006 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Scenario: Jason won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1956 - Jason sent to office and given a good more...

One day when the teacher walked into the classroom, she noticed that someone had written the word 'PENIS' (in tiny letters) on the blackboard. She scanned the class looking for a guilty face. Finding none, she rubbed the word off and began class. The next day, the word 'PENIS' was written on the board again; this time it was written about halfway across the board. Again she looked around in vain for the culprit, so she proceeded with the day's lesson. Every morning for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same disgusting word written on the board, each day's being larger than the previous one, and each being rubbed off vigorously. At the end of the second week, she walked in expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board but instead found the words: "The more you rub it, the bigger it gets."

A teacher was giving a lesson about the circulation of blood. Attempting to make the subject clearer, he said to his class, "Now students, if I were to stand on my head, as you know, the blood would rush into it and I would turn red in the face."
The students all nodded in agreement.
"Then why is it that when I am standing in an upright position, the blood doesn't rush into my feet?" asked the teacher.
A student at the back of the class yelled out, "Probably because your feet aren't empty!"

One day Adam was at school. It was time for religion class. Adam brought a small pin-prick he found in the hall. When it was time for class, Adam had to sit next to the sleepy kid. The teacher asked the first question. "Who is our savior?" Adam grabbed the prick and poked the sleepy kid with it. The sleepy kid screamed "JESUS CHRIST!". The teacher said "Very good!". The teacher asked the next question. "Who was the first person?". Adam grabbed the prick and shoved it into the sleepy kid. "ADAM!" the kid screamed. The teacher said "Very good!". The final question came and the question was "What did Eve say after they had their last child?" Adam grabbed the prick and put hole in the sleepy kid. The sleepy kid screamed "ADAM! IF YOU STICK YOUR PRICK INSIDE ME AGAIN, I AM GOING TO BREAK IT IN HALF!". The teacher collapsed.

After a great success of Aishwarya Rai's movie Bride & Prejudice all over the world, Indian government wanted a special postage stamp with her picture on it to recognize her. Government stress that it should be world class. The stamps were released, and Indian Government & Aishwarya Rai both were pleased.

But within a couple of days, began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and became furious. Indian Government ordered CBI to investigate the matter.

CBI checked out at several post offices, and then reported to the Government Officials that: "The stamp is really world class. The problem is, all the peoples are licking on the wrong side of the stamp."

One day there was this teacher who was takin role in her class.
Well, three students were missin it was billy sally and joe.
Well, one hour went by and joe walks in naked.
The teacher says: where have you been?
He replies: on top of blueberry hill.
Well she says sit down he does another hour passes and billy walks in naked, and the teacher says: where have you been?
He says: on top of blueberry hill.
She says: sit down.
He does and then another hour passes, and sally walks in naked.
The teacher says: let me guess you have been on top of blueberry hill.
Sally replies: no i am bluberry hill

A college professor in an anatomy class asked his students to sketch a naked man. As the professor walked around the class checking the sketches he noticed that a sexy young coed had sketched the man with an erect penis. The professor commented, "Oh, no, I wanted it the other way." She replied, "What other way?"