"Blood Circulation" joke
A teacher was giving a lesson about the circulation of blood. Attempting to make the subject clearer, he said to his class, "Now students, if I were to stand on my head, as you know, the blood would rush into it and I would turn red in the face."
The students all nodded in agreement.
"Then why is it that when I am standing in an upright position, the blood doesn't rush into my feet?" asked the teacher.
A student at the back of the class yelled out, "Probably because your feet aren't empty!"
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good more...
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...