Class Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy goes to his high school class reunion. Having not seen anyone in twenty-five years he's very curious as to who might show up.
When he gets there he runs into his old high school sweetheart. They sit down and talk about the past.
"How have you been?" he asks.
"I've been fine, just fine," she replies, "Although I do have some good news and a little bad news, though."
"Bad news first, please."
"Well, a few weeks ago I had to have a hysterectomy."
"Oh my, that's too bad. I'm sorry to hear that."
"But the good news is the doctor found your old high school class ring you thought you lost!"

Powerful Microscope, hosted by Seymour Cells

Defending Yourself in the Courtroom, hosted by Iris Mye Case

Safe River Crossing, hosted by Jethro D. Bote

Home Demolition, hosted by Wallace Falling

Curing Hunger Pangs, hosted by Aida Bigg Snacke

TV Alternatives, hosted by Rita Goode Booke

Solving Crimes, hosted by Anita Clew

Protecting Your Valuables, hosted by Jules R. Missing

How to Make Leather Crafts, hosted by Tanya Hide

Giving Class Assembly Speeches, hosted by Audie Torium

How to Sleep in Class While the Teacher Gives Notes, hosted by Chuck Bored

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its Best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.

There once was a third grader named Jimmy. Every time the teacher would say something, Jimmy would say, "How about that!"
One day, the teacher said, "And then George Washington crossed the Delaware."
Jimmy said, "How about that!"
The teacher told Jimmy, "If you say that one more time, you are going out into the hall, mister!"
To that, Jimmy replied, ", Well, how about that!"
Taking him by the arm, the teacher marched Jimmy into the hall and said, "While you're out here, I want you to write a poem to tell the class."
Twenty minutes later, the teacher came out to get Jimmy and said, "Before we go back in, I want to hear your poem."
Jimmy said, "As I stood in the hall, I saw a cockroach go up the wall. How about that!"
The teacher said, "That's fine, Jimmy, but I want you to leave the cock out."
She took him back into the classroom and announced that more...

There was a professor who started all of his classes with a dirty joke. Finally, the women in the class decided that the next time he started, they would walk out. They didn't know it, but the professor had caught wind of their plan.
At the beginning of class the next morning the professor said, "Good morning class. Have you heard about the shortage of whores in China?" At that point, the women all stood up and were heading for the door.
"Wait ladies," the professor bellowed. "The boat isn't leaving until tomorrow."

Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus 4? Class: At once!

One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn't have to go to school the following Monday.
On the first Friday, the teacher asks, "How many grains of sand are in the beach?" Needless to say, no one could answer.
The following Friday, the teacher asks the class, "How many stars are in the sky?" and again no one could answer. Frustrated, little Johnny decides that the next Friday, he would somehow answer the question and get a 3 day weekend.
So Thursday night, Johnny takes two ping-pong balls and paints them black. The next day, he brings them to school in a paper bag. At the end of the day, just when the teacher says, "Here's this week's question," Johnny empties the bag to the floor sending the ping-pong balls rolling to the front of the room. Because they are young kids who find any disruption of class amusing, the more...