Classes Jokes / Recent Jokes

Absent
(n) The notation generally following your name in a class record.
Admissions Office
(n) Where they take you to get you to admit you've
mooned the keynote speaker during "new student weekend."
Anatomy
(n) One of those classes that sounds vaguely risque until
you find out what it REALLY involves.
Biology
(n) A class located suspiciously near the cafeteria.
Book
(n) A depository of knowledge which a student will try to stay
awake long enough to read the night before finals.
Bookbag
(n) A large container in which students store candy bars, gum,
combs, little slips of paper with phone numbers on them, yo-yos,
sunglasses, student I.D.s, loose change, magazines, & (occasionally) books.
Cafeteria
(n) from Latin "cafe" ("place to eat") and "teria" ("to wretch").
Caffeine
(n) One of the four basic food groups.
Call
(v) What you can't do because your more...

Pappu was attending catechism/bible classes. The teacher explained about the ill effects of sins, about burning coals in hell and the blissful life in heaven. Teacher explained further that those who led sinful lives went to hell and those who led sinless lives went to heaven. The teacher then asked "children, those who wish to go to heaven, please raise your hands" All children except pappu raised their hands. Teacher asked pappu "why pappu, you dont want to go to heaven?" Pappu said "no madam; mummy has asked me to come home straightaway after the class"

Your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
During your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

Your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
During your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.
You're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.

Freshmen: Are never in bed past noon. Seniors: Are never out of bed before noon. Freshmen: Read the syllabus to find out what classes they can cut. Seniors: Read the syllabus to find out what classes they need to attend. Freshmen: Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall. Seniors: Brings a jumbo hoagie and six-pack of Mtn. Dew into a recitation class. Freshmen: Calls the professor "Professor." Seniors: Calls the professor "Bob." Freshmen: Would walk ten miles to get to class. Seniors: Drives to class if it's further than three blocks away. Freshmen: Memorizes the course material to get a good grade. Seniors: Memorizes the professor's habits to get a good grade. Freshmen: Knows a book-full of useless trivia about the university. Seniors: Knows where the next class is. Maybe... Freshmen: Shows up at a morning exam clean, perky, and fed. Seniors: Shows up at a morning exam in sweats with a cap on and a box of pop tarts in hand. Freshmen: Have to ask where the computer more...

One student fell into a cycle of classes, studying, working and sleeping.
Didn't realize how long he had neglected writing home until he received the following note:
"Dear Son, Your mother and I enjoyed your last letter. Of course, we were much younger then, and more impressionable. Love, Dad."

A master thief in london was giving a coaching class on stealing and had students from all over the world. The indian happened to be a sardar. After several grueling classes on theory came the final and decisive class of all, a practical demo. The master took all his pupils to a house nearby in the darkness of night and entered that. But by mistake he overturns a vase. Owner: who's that? Master: miaooow... The owner is satisfied and goes back to sleep. Mission accomplished. The sardar is very impressed. Returning to punjab, he decides to open a similar class for his fellow sardars. Does so and follows the same schedule of theory classes. Then he goes for the demo with his pupils. Enters the house of a rich sardar in darkness, and tells the other sardars, " these are the various steps for stealing. You just observe. " firstly, he goes and overturns a vase. Owner: koun hai? ( who's that? ) Sardar: mai billi. ( i am the cat.) Owner: , billi (. Cat.) And goes back to sleep.