Classification Jokes

A Guide to the Identification and Classification of North American FartsLearning- or better still, thinking up- names for fart types is atraditional early-adolescent ritual. Similarly, methods of identifyingthe source of a fart are a subject of peer-group, or tribal, speculation, the usual rule of thumb being "Who smelled it, dealt it,"or "The smeller's the feller." Occasionally, this oral tradition has acheived the level of Xeroxpublication, but never before has a systematic analysis, along the linesof Jane's Fighting ships or A Field Guide to the Birds, been attemptedin print. Tentatively, then, we present the following. Blind Farts: Traditional noiseless reekers. (Expression since circa1880 - see also "SBD's"). Boomers: Full-throated, rousing explosions; the parent orginismfrequently betrays his or her authorship with a smile of ill-conceledpride. Carpet Creepers: Heavier- than- air creations, these linger andpermeate the atmosphere at or near ground more...

American, an Australian and an irishman standing outside the Recruitment office waiting for their medicals.
the yank goes in, half hour later comes out grinning from ear to ear.."they dont want me..... medically unfit... classification FF, i cant march, FLAT FEET!!!
the australian goes in next, 1 hour later comes out grinning as well.."they dont want me.. medically unfit..... classification FA, i cant march, FALLEN ARCHES!!!
So now its Paddy's turn. One hour goes by, then 2 hrs, then 3. "oh shit, looks like Paddy has had it!!!" says the Aussie. Just then Paddy comes out, grinning the biggest grin you have ever seen.
Were you rejected you too, they shout! ! Hooray.
paddy replies, " yes, didnt want me.. medically unfit.... classification FC.
"FC"??? asks the yank, whats that? ?
Paddy replies proudly, yep. ... medically unfit. classification FC...... i cant march!!....... FUCKING CANCER!!!!

A Guide to the Identification and Classification of North American FartsLearning- or better still, thinking up- names for fart types is atraditional early-adolescent ritual. Similarly, methods of identifyingthe source of a fart are a subject of peer-group, or tribal, speculation, the usual rule of thumb being "Who smelled it, dealt it,"or "The smeller's the feller."Occasionally, this oral tradition has acheived the level of Xeroxpublication, but never before has a systematic analysis, along the linesof Jane's Fighting ships or A Field Guide to the Birds, been attemptedin print. Tentatively, then, we present the following.Blind Farts: Traditional noiseless reekers. (Expression since circa1880 - see also "SBD's").Boomers: Full-throated, rousing explosions; the parent orginismfrequently betrays his or her authorship with a smile of ill-conceledpride.Carpet Creepers: Heavier- than- air creations, these linger andpermeate the atmosphere at or near ground more...