Classroom Jokes / Recent Jokes

A young female teacher was giving her 5th Grade an assignment. Since it was a large assignment, she began to write high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys. Turning around quickly, she asked, "What is so amusing, Derrick?"
"I just saw one of your garters," Derrick explained. "Leave my classroom and don't return for three days!" the teacher yelled.
Turning back to the chalkboard, she continued writing high up on the board when there was an even louder giggle from another boy in the class. Turning around quickly, she asked, "What is so funny, Sam?"
Giggling, Sam said, "Well, I just saw both of your garters." "Get out of my classroom," the teacher yelled. "I don't want to see you back here for three weeks!"
When she turned around to the chalkboard again, she was so frustrated and embarrassed that she dropped the eraser. Bending over to pick it up, she suddenly heard a more...

A little boy was standing the the classroom crying, so the teacher asked him what was wrong. "I can't find my boots," the little boy sobbed.
The teacher looked around the room and saw a pair of boots. "Are these yours?" she asked. "No, those aren't mine," he cried.
The teacher and the little boy searched all over the classroom for his boots. Finally, the teacher gave up and said, "Are you SURE those aren't your boots?"
"Yes, I'm sure," sobbed the boy. "Mine had snow on them!"

One day when the teacher walked into the classroom, she noticed that someone had written the word 'PENIS' (in tiny letters) on the blackboard. She scanned the class looking for a guilty face. Finding none, she rubbed the word off and began class. The next day, the word 'PENIS' was written on the board again; this time it was written about halfway across the board. Again she looked around in vain for the culprit, so she proceeded with the day's lesson. Every morning for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same disgusting word written on the board, each day's being larger than the previous one, and each being rubbed off vigorously. At the end of the second week, she walked in expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board but instead found the words: "The more you rub it, the bigger it gets."

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. Itwas a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenlythere was a giggle from one of the boys in the class.She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat?""Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters.""Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days."The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title theassignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an evenlouder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funnyBilly?""Well miss, I just saw both of your garters."Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe,"I don't want to see you for three weeks."Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. Soshe bends over to more...

Little Johnny was late for class. He walked into the classroom, quietly shut the door behind him, and tiptoed to his seat, all the while hoping his teacher wouldn't notice. But, nevertheless, the teacher was well aware of his entry.
Upset by his tardiness, the teacher asked, "Is this how your father would have come in? Would he have come in late and tried to sneak to his desk?"
The teacher pointed to the door and continued, "Now, leave this classroom and try it again. And, be sure to get it right next time!"
So, Little Johnny picked up his books and left the room. A few moments later, he flung open the door with a clatter and stomped back into the room with a lit cigarette dangling from his mouth.
He slammed the door behind him, put his cigarette out on the floor, and said, "So, Honey, didn't expect *me*, did you?"