Clay Aiken Jokes

American Idol runner up Clay Aiken told the world yesterday that he is gay.

Which is ironic, because the world has been telling him he's gay for years.

Recently, Clay Aiken narrowly survived a bear attack. His publicist says he will never wear hot pants in West Hollywood ever again...

There is controversy surrounding Kelly Ripa and Clay Aiken after an incident where she reprimanded him for covering her mouth with his hand, claiming she doesn't know "where that hand has been". This has been regarded by many as a homophobic statement and an attack on Aiken.

In a related story, Aiken had been filling in on "Live" because Regis Philbin has been suffering from severe anal hemorrhaging.

President Bush has asked Clay Aiken to serve on the President's Committee for People with Intellectual Disabilities. "Oddly enough," said Aiken, "the first person I get to meet with is the President."

Two Bangladeshi fishermen raised controversy after they beat a rare dolphin to death. They claimed they did it in shock because they had never seen something like it before.

Using the same excuse, Clay Aiken then punched a vagina.