Cleaner Jokes / Recent Jokes

When the window cleaner arrived at the Green's house, he was stopped in his tracks by a snarling, barking dog. "Don't be afraid of him," said Mrs. Green "You know the old proverb:' A barking dog never bites'." "Sure," said the window cleaner. "You know the old proverb. I know the old proverb. But does your dog know the old proverb?".

Rosh Hashana was over and there was time until Yom Kippur, and Abie needed his tallis cleaned. He called his friend Max to ask what dry cleaner to take it to.
Max said, "I always take my tallis to Moishe the dry cleaner on W 4th. He only charges $4.00"
So Abie goes over to Moishe's and finds that the ownership has changed. He asks the new owner, Mr Jones, if he meets the old prices. Mr. Jones assures him that he does. Three days later, Abie goes to get his tallis and is given a bill for $24.00.
He storms at Mr Jones. "I thought you met Moishe's prices?"
"I did, " said Mr Jones, "$4.00 for the tallis, and $20.00 to get all the knots out of the fringes!"

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by Banta, carrying a vacuum cleaner.
"Good morning", said Banta. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high powered vacuum cleaners."
"Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money!"
And she proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, Banta wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.
"Don't be too hasty!", he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration."
And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.
"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."
"Well," she said, "I hope you've got a damned good appetite, because the electricity was cut off this morning."

A little old lady answered her door only to be confronted by a young vacuum cleaner salesman.
"Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."
"Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money," and she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door. "Don't be too hasty," he said, "not until you've seen my demonstration."
With that he emptied a bucket of dirt onto her hallway carpet. "If this vacuum cleaner doesn't remove all traces of this dirt from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."
"Well," she said, "I hope you're hungry, because the electricity was cut off this morning."

A door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman manages to bull his way into a womans home in a rural area."This machine is the best ever" he exclaims, whilst pouring a bag of dirt over the lounge floor. The woman says shes really worried it may not all come off, so the salesman says, "If this machine doesnt remove all the dust completely, Ill lick it off myself.""Do you want ketchup on it?" she says, "were not connected for electricity yet!"

Five cannibals get appointed as programmers in an IT company. During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "Youre all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So dont trouble the other employees."The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees. Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "Youre all working very hard, and Im very satisfied with all of you. One of our cleaners has disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?"The cannibals disavow all knowledge of the missing cleaner. After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: "Which of you idiots ate the cleaner?"A hand raises hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: "You fool! For four weeks weve been eating Team Leaders, Managers, and Project Managers so no-one would notice anything, and you have to go and eat the cleaner!"

Seen in the latest copy of Windows Sources Magazine
Reprinted without their permission.
To: Windows R & D
From: Bill Gates
Re: Lack of progress in extending Windows interface to noncomputer environments
I am quite concerned about your recent report detailing what you call problems in extending the Windows interface to products other than computers. The growth of Microsoft is dependent on our ability to extend Windows to every aspect of business, home, and society. After all, we all own MS stock, and if you want to become a billionaire, too, you will, I'm sure, learn to minimize the effects of what others call reality and laws of physics. Here's some feedback on the first wave of Windows-ready products.
WINDOWS TOASTER:
This is one of the few products on which we have any agreement. You agree that tapping on a minimize arrow will lower the bread into the toaster and that tapping a maximize arrow will make the slices pop out again. But you complain that you more...