Friday Jokes

John Smith was the only Protestant to move into a large Catholic neighborhood. On the first Friday of Lent, John was outside grilling a big juicy steak on his grill. Meanwhile, all of his neighbors were eating cold tuna fish for supper. This went on each Friday of Lent.

On the last Friday of Lent, the neighborhood men got together and decided that something had to be done about John. He was tempting them to eat meat each Friday of Lent, and they couldn't take it anymore. They decided to try and convert John to be a Catholic. They went over and talked to him and were so happy that he decided to join all of his neighbors and become a Catholic. They took him to Church, and the Priest sprinkled some water over him, and said, "You were born a Baptist, you were raised a Baptist, and now you are Catholic." The men were so relieved, now their biggest Lenten temptation was resolved.

The next year's Lenten season rolled around. The first Friday of Lent came, and more...

A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms. The father replies, ''Well, you see that 3-pack? That's for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night.''
The son then asks his father, ''What's the 6-pack for?''
The father replies, ''Well, that's for when you're in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.''
Then the son asks his father what the 12-pack is for.
The father replies, ''Well, that's for when you're married. You have one for January, one for February, one for March, one for... ''

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year-old son.
They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?". To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see.", replied the boy, pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and ask, "Why are there 3 in this package?"
The dad replies, "Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday."
"Cool!" says the boy. He notices a 6-pack and asks "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men", the dad answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday and TWO for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy;" Then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12-pack.
With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for more...

(I got this one from my next door neighbor, who got it from his brother...)
Desperate for work, Paul decides to accept a job offer mining deep in
Alaska. After a long journey he arrives at the mining camp, 200 miles
from civilization. The camp is small, with only a handful of miners.
He promptly meets up with the manager, and asks what his duties are.
"Firstly, you work six days of the week, every day except Saturday. Your
primary duty is to help clear out the rubble, and dump it into the rock
quarry down the road. The work isn't easy, but you will get used to it.
Also, you are on KP duty on Friday nights."
Morning comes, and Paul goes to work. The work is hard, but he is strong
enough that it isn't a real problem.
However, by the time Thursday comes around, Paul is feeling kind of lonely.
With the nearest women 200 miles away, he can't imagine how the other miners
endure from day to day. So, he approaches the more...

John Smith was the only Protestant to move into a large Catholic neighborhood. On the first Friday of Lent, John was outside grilling a big juicy steak on his grill.
Meanwhile, all of his neighbors were eating cold tuna fish for supper. This went on each Friday of Lent. On the last Friday of Lent, the neighborhood men got together and decided that something had to be done about John. He was tempting them to eat meat each Friday of Lent, and they couldn't take it anymore.
They decided to try and convert John to Catholicism.
They went over and talked to him. John decided to join all of his neighbors and become a Catholic, which made them all very happy.
They took him to church, and the priest sprinkled some water over him, and said, "You were born a Baptist, you were raised a Baptist, and now you are a Catholic."
The men were so relieved, now their biggest Lenten temptation was resolved.
The next year's Lenten season rolled around. The first Friday of more...