"Like shootin' monkeys in a barrel" joke
(I got this one from my next door neighbor, who got it from his brother...)
Desperate for work, Paul decides to accept a job offer mining deep in
Alaska. After a long journey he arrives at the mining camp, 200 miles
from civilization. The camp is small, with only a handful of miners.
He promptly meets up with the manager, and asks what his duties are.
"Firstly, you work six days of the week, every day except Saturday. Your
primary duty is to help clear out the rubble, and dump it into the rock
quarry down the road. The work isn't easy, but you will get used to it.
Also, you are on KP duty on Friday nights."
Morning comes, and Paul goes to work. The work is hard, but he is strong
enough that it isn't a real problem.
However, by the time Thursday comes around, Paul is feeling kind of lonely.
With the nearest women 200 miles away, he can't imagine how the other miners
endure from day to day. So, he approaches the manager.
"What do you want?" asks the manager.
"Well, the work itself is fine, and I have no complaints about it, but...
well sir, I wonder what the other miners do for women around here?"
"Ah. Say no more. Let me show you something."
The manager leads Paul into the mine, and turns down an unfamiliar passage.
He continues on deeper into the mine into older and older tunnels until
he finally stops at the end of a tunnel which must be well over a hundred
years old. At the end is a barrel.
The manager says: "The other miners use this."
"What?"
"Well, you see that knot hole? Try it out."
Paul is decidedly skeptical about the idea, but he is desperate, so he
gives it a shot. He absolutely can't believe the results. He practically
busts a nut-the best damned blow job he's ever gotten.
Well, Friday comes around, and the work is getting him down, so he goes
back to the barrel to try it again. Wow! This time the blow job is even
better than last time. Truly unbelievable!
So, after a long day, and KP duty that night, Paul sleeps in on Saturday.
He gets up at 11 and really feels great. He can't think of much to do, so
he heads off to visit the barrel. On his way to the mine, he bumps into
the manager, who asks him:
"What are you doing here?"
"It's my day off..."
"Day off? Hell no! It's your turn in the barrel."
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!
An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.
The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took more...
A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."
One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were having a conversation.
The Pickle says, "You know, my life really sucks. Whenever I get big fat and juicy they sprinkle seasonings on my and stick me in a jar.
The Cucumber says, "Yeah, you think that's bad? Whenever more...