Camp Jokes

A LARGE, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack.
The very next day, a skinny little guy showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks' door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to scram.
"Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the skinny man.
"Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the lumberjack.
"Take your axe and go cut it down!"
The skinny man headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the lumberjack's door. "I cut the tree down," said the little man.
The lumberjack couldn't believe his eyes and said, "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?"
"In the Sahara Forest," replied the puny man.
"You mean the Sahara Desert," said the lumberjack.
The little man laughed and answered back...
"Oh sure, more...

(I got this one from my next door neighbor, who got it from his brother...)
Desperate for work, Paul decides to accept a job offer mining deep in
Alaska. After a long journey he arrives at the mining camp, 200 miles
from civilization. The camp is small, with only a handful of miners.
He promptly meets up with the manager, and asks what his duties are.
"Firstly, you work six days of the week, every day except Saturday. Your
primary duty is to help clear out the rubble, and dump it into the rock
quarry down the road. The work isn't easy, but you will get used to it.
Also, you are on KP duty on Friday nights."
Morning comes, and Paul goes to work. The work is hard, but he is strong
enough that it isn't a real problem.
However, by the time Thursday comes around, Paul is feeling kind of lonely.
With the nearest women 200 miles away, he can't imagine how the other miners
endure from day to day. So, he approaches the more...

The loaded mini van pulled into the only remaining campsite. Four children leaped from the vehicle and began feverishly unloading gear and setting up the tent.

The boys rushed to gather firewood, while the girls and their mother set up the camp stove and cooking utensils.

A nearby camper marvelled to the youngsters' father, "Sir, that is some display of teamwork."

The father replied, "I have a system; no one goes to the bathroom until the camp is set up."

A loaded mini van pulled into the only remaining campsite. Four children leaped from the vehicle and quickly began unloading gear and setting up the tent. The boys rushed off to gather firewood, while the girls and their mother set up the camp stove and cooking utensils.
A nearby camper was watching all of this and marveled to the youngsters' father, "That, sir, is some display of teamwork."
"I have a system," the father replied. "Before we leave the house, we all have a bowl of prunes and two litres of fresh orange juice for breakfast."
"Great, but how does that encourage such great teamwork?" asked the camper.
"Well, it's a 250 mile journey," the father explained with a grin, "and no one goes to the bathroom until the camp is set up."

in high school i went to five star basketball camp. a reputable college coach was teaching us how to handle the ball and he would always stress to be a bater, and he would always say to master it or be a master bater.
well, nuff said, i ran into a friend of an old girl friend about a year ago and she reminded me the time i had to sleep at my girl friends apartment when her siste came to town. we were too tired to drive me home that night so i slumbered. three girl on the floor not wearing much. to say the least, i was having anxiety about three in the moring. and exactly at six a.m. my girl friend kicked me out and forced me to walk home. it was a long and horrible walk i may add. when i got home i just jumped on the couch and the wonderfull coach williams voice just kept going thru my mind- BE A MASTER BATER!-