Camp Jokes / Recent Jokes
in high school i went to five star basketball camp. a reputable college coach was teaching us how to handle the ball and he would always stress to be a bater, and he would always say to master it or be a master bater.
well, nuff said, i ran into a friend of an old girl friend about a year ago and she reminded me the time i had to sleep at my girl friends apartment when her siste came to town. we were too tired to drive me home that night so i slumbered. three girl on the floor not wearing much. to say the least, i was having anxiety about three in the moring. and exactly at six a.m. my girl friend kicked me out and forced me to walk home. it was a long and horrible walk i may add. when i got home i just jumped on the couch and the wonderfull coach williams voice just kept going thru my mind- BE A MASTER BATER!-
Two privates stationed at Fort Campbell were handed shovels
and told to bury a large, dead animal. While digging they
got into an argument about what they were burying.
"This here's a big mule!" "This ain't no mule, this here's
a donkey."
"Mule!"
"Donkey!"
Well, this went on for a while until the camp chaplain came by.
"What are you boys doing?"
"We're diggin' a grave for this mule."
"Donkey, dammit!"
The chaplain cut in, "Boys, this isn't either one, it's an ass!"
An hour later, the camp commander came up and said, "What are
you men doing, digging a foxhole?"
"No sir, we're diggin' an asshole."
Two guys decide to go on a hunting trip. When there friend hears about it, he begges to go. The two men are skeptical, because every time there friend goes, he scares away all the game. The friend promises that if he is allowed to go, he will stay at the camp site, because he likes to camp more than hunt. They agree and they start on their trip.
Once camp is set up, the two men decide to go hunt, and their friend stays behind. After several hours they finally spot a ten point buck, but a shrill scream scares the buck away. The two men run back to camp, only to find their friend standing there looking up into the trees.
"What's wrong?" They asked. "Yeah, you scared off our game."
"I'm sorry, fellas. I didn't screm when the snake fell out of the tree and wrapped aound my neck. I didn't yell when the bear came out of the woods and mauled me nearly to death. But those SQUIRELS..."
What had happened to the poor man more...
Three people are in a prison camp, and decide to compare reasons for being sent there.
The first one says: "I was late for work, so I was arrested for sabotage."
The second one says: "I was early, so I was arrested for spying."
The third one says: "I was on time; I was arrested for buying a foreign watch off the black market."
Jack went to see the camp nurse.' I fell last night,' he said.' And I was unconscious for eight hours.' The nurse was shocked.' How awful. What happened?'' I fell asleep!'
At the end of camp, Julie won the prize for neatest trunk. Her mother was amazed. How did your trunk get so neat? she asked her messy daughter. It was easy, said Julie. I just never unpacked!
One of Microsoft's finest techs was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.
The Microsoft tech looked at his rifle and then at the target again. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area: It's leaving here just fine. The trouble must be at your end!