Cleaning Jokes / Recent Jokes

theirs a man who owns a cleaning store, keep in mind that this man has been sky diving owns a radio and has been walking really farhis once in life .. so some blonde comes in and says do u have and lysole and the guy says does it look like i have lysole bitch !!!

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the drive before it has stopped snowing.

This guy is out golfing with his buddy one day and he says, "Man I haven't gotten laid in what seems like forever. I don't know what it is I'm just not getting any." So his buddy says, "Hey man I'll lend you my Asian cleaning lady. She'll come in give you a beer, clean your house, fuck the hell out of you, and best of all she can't speak a word of English." So the guys like really man you mean it? And his buddy says,

"Yeah sure I'll send her over tomorrow."

So the next day this guy is at home and this cleaning lady shows up.

She hands him a beer, goes about cleaning his house, and when she's done stands over him and undresses. So they start going at it and she starts screaming "SAMPOWHY, SAMPOWHY!!!" And of course he starts thinking he's like super stud to get the lady to scream like that.

The next day he's feeling all good about himself and he's out golfing with his buddy again. On his first shot he more...

Needing some clothes cleaned quickly, a man searched the small town he was visiting until he found a sign which read: Cleaning and Pressing - 24-Hour Service.
After explaining what he needed, he said, "I'll be back tomorrow to pick up my suit."
"Oh, but it won't be ready until Saturday," replied the proprietor.
"But your sign states '24-Hour Service'," the man protested.
"Yes, that's correct," the proprietor said reproachfully, "but, we only work eight hours a day. Today is Thursday - eight hours today, eight hours Friday, eight on Saturday. That's 24-hour service."

Two winos are staggering down an alleyway, late at night, very drunk on cheap wine. Happy, arm in arm and singing, they suddenly stop dead in their tracks. Directly ahead of them is a fleabitten, old mongrel, male dog - cleaning himself. One wino staring with bloodshot, unfocused eyes and on unsteady legs at the dog, then his crotch and then back at the dog. He says, "Wow.. would I ever like to be able to do THAT!" His friend looks at him, then the dog and then takes his drunken friend aside, "You'd better pet him first.... he looks vicious".

MAID CLEANING BEDROOM
FOUND A USED CONDOM,
AND KEPT LOOKING AT IT!
MADAM ASKS:
Dont you have SEX in the
village.
Maid: Yes we do but
NOT TILL the SKIN
DROPS OFF!

My sister was bemoaning the fact that she had procrastinated cleaning and organizing her house for a long time. Since she was planning to entertain, she felt a lot of pressure to get moving. That afternoon she phoned, sounding glum.

"I went to the bookstore," she explained, "and I bought a book on how to get organized. I was all fired up, and decided to clean out all the shelves in the living room. While I was working, I found the same darn book. I bought it a couple of years ago."