Clerk Jokes / Recent Jokes

A sad-faced Doug walked into a flower shop early one morning. The clerk was ready to take his order for a funeral piece, based on the look on Doug's face, but soon realized his assumption was wrong as Doug asked for a basket of flowers sent to his wife for their anniversary. "And what day will that be?" the clerk asked. Glumly he replied, "Yesterday".

A young city gal from Chicago was driving through a remote part of Wyoming when her car broke down.
Fortunately, an Indian came riding by on horseback and offered to give her a lift to a nearby town. She gratefully accepted, climbed up behind him on the horse and off they rode.
The ride into town was uneventful except for the loud whoop the Indian would let out every few minutes, which echoed back from the surrounding hills.
When they finally arrived in the town, the Indian let her off at the local general store, yelled out one final "Yahoo!" and rode off.
"What on earth did you do to get that Indian so excited?" the general store clerk asked.
"I didn't do anything," replied the young woman. "I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."
"Lady," the clerk said, "Indians ride bareback!"

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn`t serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn`t serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn`t serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?" The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says, "That`s not a TV -- it`s a microwave!"

Q. A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A. Locking the car door.
Q. Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?
A. Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.
Q. Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
A. She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
Q. Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
A. They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.
Q. What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?
A. Divorcee'
Q. Why can't a blonde get a drivers license?
A. Because every time the instructor says "Let's park" she jumps in the back seat.
Q. What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
A. Frosted Flakes.
Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A. Because, that's where you're more...

There's an indian who walks into a 7-11 and asks if they have toliet paper. The clerk says yes and takes him to the approiate aisle. The indian asks "how much is this White Cloud toliet paper?" The clerk says "2. 49 a role." The Indian says "oh, no, too much!!" Then he asks "how much is the Scotts toliet paper?" The clerk says "1. 99 a role." The indian says, "oh, no, still too much!!!" Then he asks "how much is this no name toliet paper?" The clerk says ". 10 a role." The indian says "I'll take 10 roles." The indian goes home and comes back the next day. He says to the clerk "I have new name for no name toliet paper. John Wayne toliet paper, because it's rough, and tough, and doesn't take no shit from indians!"

Next time you think your hotel bill is too high... you might want to use this mans logic.
A husband and wife are travelling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest.
They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.
When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.
The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high.
He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.
When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic- sized pool and a huge conference center that were
available for the husband and wife to use.
"But we didn't use them", the man more...

A middle aged woman went to a Wal-Mart service counter and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work.

The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on' special'.

Suddenly, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming! "PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES!!"

The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager in front of a growing crowd of customers.

The manager goes to the woman and asks, "Ma'am what's wrong?"

She explained the problem with the toaster, and he tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.

Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming, "PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES!" And doing so draws an even more HUGE crowd!

In shock, the store manager pleads, "Ma'am, why are you saying more...