Clerk Jokes / Recent Jokes

This man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs. He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle."
"OK," says the clerk. "What do you call it?"

"A fottle, replies the inventor."

"A fottle? That's a stupid! Can't you think of something else?"
"I can think about it. I've got something else though. It's a folding carton."

"And what do you call that?" asks the clerk.
"A farton", replies the inventor.

"That's rude. You can't possibly call it that!"
"In that case," says the inventor...

"You're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket."

Monica Lewinsky walks into her dry-cleaning store and tells the cleaner's clerk, "I've got another dress for you to clean."
Slightly hard of hearing, the clerk replies, "Come again?"
"No," says Monica. "It's Mustard..."

Snow White received a camera as a gift. She happily took many pictures of the Dwarves and their surroundings. When she finished her first batch, she took the film to be developed. After a week or so, she went to get the finished photos. The clerk said the photos were not back from the processor. Snow White was so disappointed that she started to cry. The clerk, trying to console her, said kindly, "Don't worry, someday your prints will come."

Corruption is the favourite topic in the Central Hall of Parliament where reputations of the high and mighty are sold for the price of a subsidized masala dosa.
A recent corruption debate was summarized by a journalist to a friend in the following words:' What you give to the minister is a nazrana (offering); to an official a shukrana (thanksgiving); to the clerk a mehantana (work compensation) and to the chaprasi, baksheesh (tip).'
'But baksheesh does not rhyme with nazrana, shukrana and reduce mehantana,' the friend protested.
The journalist paused for a while, plucked a hair out of his sparse beard and replied:' In that case, call the chaprasi's share a shurooana (beginning) or card pahunchana, because he is the first to introduce you to the clerk, official and the minister.'

A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper.
Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35," was the reply. "I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy. After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the clerk the same question. The reply is, "Oh, you look about 29". "I am actually 47."
Later, while standing at a bus stop, he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, "I am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But when I was young, there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your balls for 10 minutes, I will be able to tell you your exact age."
As there was no one around, the man thinks, What the hell and lets her slip her hand down his pants. more...

Idiot #1
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the Emergency Room right away.
Idiot #2
Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, they were surprised by a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator that is activated when the raft is inflated. They are no longer employed more...

A farmer, who went to a big city to see the sights, asked the hotel's clerk about the time of meals. "Breakfast is served from 7 to 11, dinner from 12 to 3, and supper from 6 to 8," explained the clerk. "Look here," inquired the farmer in surprise, "when am I going to get time to see the city?"