Clever Jokes

A worried father confronted his daughter one night.' I don't like that new boyfriend, he's rough and common and bloody stupid with it.'

'Oh no, Daddy,' the daughter replied,' Fred's ever so clever, we've only been going out nine weeks and he's cured me of that illness I used to get once a month.'

There's these three dogs sitting at a bar, a Chihuahua golden retriever, and a shepherd.

A girl dog walks in, and said "The person who can use liver and cheese in a sentence I will marry."

The golden retriever goes first. "I don't like liver and cheese."

"Not clever enough."

Then the shepherd goes next. "I like liver and cheese."

"Not clever enough."

Now the Chihuahua, "Liver her alone cheese mine!"

by: larise

Three engineers and threeaccountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountantseach buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket."How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant. "Watch and you'll see,"answers an engineer. They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seatsbut all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.Shortly after the train hasdeparted, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom doorand says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emergeswith a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy theengineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all). Whenthey get to the station they buy a single more...

Three engineers and threeaccountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountantseach buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant. "Watch and you'll see,"answers an engineer. They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seatsbut all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train hasdeparted, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom doorand says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emergeswith a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy theengineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all). Whenthey get to the station they more...

One day some intelligent men, who were going about the nation trying to find answers to some of the great questions of their time, came to Mulla Nasruddin's region and asked to see the wisest man in the place.

Mulla Nasruddin was brought forward, and a big crowd gathered to listen.

The first intelligent guy began by asking, "Where is the exact center of the world?"

"It is under my right heel," answered Mulla Nasruddin.

"How can you confirm that?" asked the first intelligent man.

"If you don't believe me," answered Mulla Nasruddin, "measure and see."

The first clever guy had nothing to respond to that, so the second wise guy asked his question. "How many stars are there in the sky?" he said.

"As many as there are hairs on my donkey," answered Mulla Nasruddin.

"What evidence have you got of that?" asked the second more...